More tonight on intrepid information gatherer Edward Snowden, who basically did what Julia Roberts did in The Pelican Brief and, if I recall correctly, she finished that movie sipping rum cocktails on a beach in the Caribbean and everybody was happy because exposing evil, corrupt government sons of bitches is a thing heroes do and we love them for it.
It seems that the NSA, possibly the most overfunded branch of the U.S. government, was not just spying on practically all Americans phone calls and facebook posts, but also on Europeans, too. Of course, they had the French, German, Italian and Greek embassies bugged, which would not surprise anybody too much although it might piss the governments of those countries off a bit. Nobody likes somebody listening in on their private conversations, not even a friend. Especially not a friend, because of the backstabbing factor.
But, according to Der Spiegel, they also keep track of half a billion German phone calls and e-mails per month. I avoid using caps lock, because it looks like shouting, but HALF A FUCKING BILLION! Because if we were talking, I would be shouting.
First off, it’s mostly wasted because there is just no way they have the personnel to really pay attention to that many conversations, and they certainly don’t have that many German speaking personnel because this is the U.S. we are talking about and there isn’t more than 1 person in 10 that speaks any foreign language at all, and that one is usually Spanish.
So, mostly they are just transcribing who talked to who when, so the next time they pick up somebody as a suspected terrorist for no other reason than an Arabic last name, they’ll be able to round up all their friends, too. It’s scary stuff.
I don’t know if the European governments are genuinely outraged, because most of them are so deep up Washington’s ass they can’t see, and care a lot more about trade relations than they do about their citizens rights, but they should be, and they should back it up with some action.
Oh, I don’t expect anybody to break off relations, or impose sanctions, or impose stricter visa requirements, and, being an American in Europe, I wouldn’t want that. But there is one really simple thing any European country could do which wouldn’t hurt anybody and would be a nice, symbolic spit in America’s eye: Give Edward Snowden asylum. Maybe Sweden and England would be awkward choices because they are still busy trying to screw over Julian Assange at Washington’s behest (see where that got you, Swedes and Brits?), but anywhere else would be totally cool.
After all, you can’t complain about Edward Snowden being a lawbreaker when he’s the one that told you that you were being spied on. Europe owes Edward Snowden, and should show its gratitude.