Why Doesn’t Anybody Ever Visit Us?

In calculating the likelihood that there are intelligent, space-faring civilizations on other planets, a key factor has always been figuring out if there are other Earth like planets.  That is somewhat smaller than Jupiter, solid, orbiting around the right kind of sun and within its Goldilocks Zone (not too hot, not too cold), and having an atmosphere and water.

Leaving aside for a moment the questions about atmosphere and water, a new scientific study puts the number of such planets in the Milky Way at between 8.8 billion and 40 billion (40 billion if we’re counting Red Dwarfs, and why shouldn’t we?)  If even 1 in 20 of those planets has water, and I reckon that’s a conservative estimate given that water throughout the universe seems to be as common as water on Earth (Jupiter has an entire moon that’s covered with ice, and most comets are composed mostly of that sacred substance) that still leaves a couple of billion, and probably half of them have an atmosphere.  Breathable or not is one more question, but there’s no doubt hundreds of millions where conditions are ripe for life.

So, why hasn’t anybody  ever contacted us?  I can think of several possibilities.

Given the vast distances between stars, even the most evolved species won’t have explored everywhere.  Think of the Pacific Ocean.  Even in our modern times, Tom Hanks can still find an island out there where no man has ever gone before.

There’s no real attraction on Earth for them.  If they can travel through space, they are not going to be very impressed with a species that still can’t build a halfway decent flying car.

Mostly, It's a Comedy

Mostly, It’s a Comedy

Perhaps they  have contacted us, and our governments are keeping the information from us.  I can’t imagine why, but governments lie to their people all the time about everything anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise me.

Perhaps they have contacted us, and we were just too stupid to realize it. (Nazca lines, crop circles, Stonehenge, and so on)

Perhaps they live among us, and they are the ones in control.  If so, I think they’re doing a lousy job of it, but who knows?  Maybe melting the ice cap and killing all the honeybees fits their master plan quite nicely.

Or perhaps, and this is my pet theory of the day, we are the Truman Show of the universe, a planet where life has been planted and allowed to evolve in isolation just for the  entertainment/education/voyeuristic pleasure of some alien species, or some group of alien species.  Purple, tentacled beings tune in once a week or so to see if we’ve started another war, or screwed up in some other comical way.

They probably even place bets.

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