I am certain I have at least touched on this subject in this blog before, because it is one of my pet peeves, but I saw another of those columns today. This one was 15 (or maybe it was 8, I don’t remember) things not to say to identical twins.Forwarded on facebook every day, they infest the internet with their unbearable ubiquitousness. 10 things to never say to a pregnant woman, 10 things never to say to a childless woman, 10 things never to say to a woman with children, 7 things never to say to a disabled person, 12 things never to say to a person standing on a ledge, 6 things never to say to a person in the middle of the intersection, cars backed up and honking in both directions, loudly singing opera with his trousers down around his ankles.
The thing is, if you have a list of more than 2 things that people shouldn’t say to you, you are kind of an anti-social fuck to start with.
Secondly, 13 things, seriously? You’re making shit up. I believe that happens a lot with these kind of stories. People just make shit up. That would also explain the odd numbers. It goes like this:
Editor: “Jimmie! Get your little ass in here!”
Jimmie: Yes, sir, Mr. Editor, sir.
Editor: Give me a list of 10 things you shouldn’t say to a skateboarder with a gun! I want it in 2 hours!
Jimmie: Yes, sir, Mr, Editor, sir
(1 hour and 59 minutes later)
Jimmie: I’m sorry, Mr. Editor, sir, I could only think of 7
Editor: O.K., whatever.
Thirdly, a lot of it should be common sense, don’t say anything mean, or rude, or horrible, at least not on purpose and if you occasionally do so accidentally, move on.
That’s about it, really.
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