The Stargazer of Crystalline Cove

If there’s one thing I avoid on facebook it’s those stupid things like “Choose your _____ name” like your gangster name or your blues singer name (Screaming Liver Murphy?  Screw that), but they are always there and sometimes you just look before you can stop yourself because it doesn’t take any time, first letter of your first name, monthe you were born in, first letter of what you ate for breakfast, and Bob’s Your Uncle, as they say.

Stargazer of Crystalline Cove

Or maybe people you like are all checking into a thread and announcing their new, completely arbitrary and ultimately meaningless names.  People talk about how much social media has changed the world, but what it has done is taken us all right back to the 5th grade.

In 5th grade, I would have found stuff like this hilarious.

Anyway, today I looked at one that said “find your lightworker name” and I thought “what the hell is a lightworker, is that like a fairy or an elf or something” and they included a little definition about how lightworkers say yes to spirit and lots of other hippie dippie shit like that so, yeah, fairies and elves.

But I like my name.  I am Stargazer of Crystalline Cove.

I am the Stargazer of Crystalline Cove.  I walk around the cove every night, ruminating on the mistakes of my past.  And there were some doozies.

I am the Stargazer of Crystalline Cove.  People think I’m a little bit crazy, but they don’t know the half of it.

I am Stargazer of Crystalline Cove.  I have lived for 50,000 years.  I know the past so well that I can sometimes get presentiments of the future.  I haven’t ever seen anything like what’s happening lately, but I have a strong suspicion we are fucked.

It sounds much more authoritative when you leave out the article.