First, let me say that I like Sandra Bullock. I liked her when she did the whole nerdgirl takes off her coke bottle glasses, lets her hair down and is transformed into a total fox thing way back in Love Potion #9, and I even enjoyed it when she did that again in Miss Congeniality, which was a piece of fluff, but my standards are not high.
I sometimes watch bad films, I eat hamburgers and donuts, I buy clothes at 2nd hand stores.
Speed, of course, was a seriously offensive piece of garbage, but you can’t really blame Sandra Bullock or Keanu Reeves for that. It was a piece of garbage because the producers and the director decided that they could go ahead and, even though the show was not about superheroes or anything supernatural in any way, egregiously violate the laws of physics and the movie going public would just totally accept it and love the movie anyway. That pissed me off but what pisses me off more is that they were right. The public are morons and deserve the constant parade of bad films that they get.
I like Meryl Streep, too. I put her in a special class of actresses, along with Glenn Close and Reese Witherspoon who can play seriously attractive women without actually being seriously attractive women.
Cameron Diaz may actually be a pretty good actress but she doesn’t really have to be. She’s good looking enough that men will plop down the price of a ticket just to worship at the altar of her beauty, and be grateful for the privilege. Ditto Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfeiffer, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe. Goddesses more than actresses. Sandra Bullock is bordering on this category. Meryl Streep, not so much.
So, they did the whole lesbian kiss thing at a recent awards ceremony. The video seems to show that Sandra (the hotter woman, the lesser actress) initiated the liplock and that Meryl was rather caught off guard and didn’t seem to enjoy it much. A reversal of the Madonna/Britney kiss which started this whole meme.
Then, Sandra gets into the news because she’s donating a cool one million dollars to the relief effort in Haiti. I’m all for that, whatever the reason, and I’m still a Sandra Bullock fan but, being the cynical old fart that I am I suspect there is more here than meets the eye. Here’s what I think happened.
Sandra’s PR person: That didn’t really go well.
Sandra: What do you mean? It’ll be all over the blogosphere within hours. They’ll eat it up.
PR person: It looked forced.
Meryl: Damned straight it was forced. I don’t do chicks.
Sandra: Oh, well, my bad. What do we do now?
PR person: How about donating a million bucks to those poor fuckers in Haiti. Nobody can criticize you then.
Sandra: Sure. Whatever.
And all’s well that ends well.
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