Once a month, we publish Watson’s World News, a newspaper in Easy English, as an advertisement for our language school. We download funny stories from the internet, rewrite them a bit to simplify the English, and voila…something for the students to read, something the teacher can use to direct a conversation.
Anyway, to tell you the truth, it gets to be almost more of a pain in the ass than it’s worth, as far as time put in, but I do love combing through the weird stories. This one was from Ananova:
Traditional Russian Hairdresser's Garb
A Russian man who tried to rob a hairdresser at gunpoint ended up a victim when she beat him senseless (he says), tied him up naked and used him as a sex slave for three days.
Viktor Jasinski, 32, doesn’t deny that he went to the salon in Meshchovsk to rob it.
But after demanding the day’s takings he instead found himself overcome by black belt karate owner Olga Zajac, 28, who floored him with a kick and then tied him up with a hair dryer cable.
The blonde then took him into a back room and stripped him naked, using him as a sex slave for three days to “teach him a lesson”, police say.
She eventually let him go, telling him: “Get out of my sight.”
Viktor first went to the hospital to treat his swollen testicles and then to the police where he explained he had been held hostage in a back room at the hairdressers, chained up naked with pink fluffy handcuffs to a radiator – and fed nothing but Viagra.
When police arrived to question Zajac, she reportedly said: “What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles (around £30) when he left.”
They were both arrested.
My favorite line in that story was “Viktor first went to the hospital to treat his swollen testicles.” Now, I know it’s not nice to laugh about suffering, and sexual abuse is a horrible thing even when practiced by a woman upon a man, I guess, I wouldn’t know first hand, but…
He walked into her shop with a gun, trying to steal her money, so fuck him. He’s a thief and a lowlife and I wouldn’t object if she’d shot him, so why should I object that she tied him to a pole, drugged him and used his dick as a vibrator for a weekend. It didn’t kill him none.
I hope he goes to jail for a good, long time.
www.gurukalehuru.com 
Short back and sides or something off the top sir?
Blow dry?
My daughter-in-law hired a contractor who did a half-assed job and tried to get more money from her, even though he hadn’t finished the job. He came over to hassle her one night and made the mistake of calling her a bitch. She punched him in the face, and he, dazed by it, ran to his truck. She pulled him back out and proceeded to beat his ass. He finally got away and drove off. She then went to the police to report it, and they just laughed. “You beat him up and you’re reporting it?” They couldn’t believe it. She’s somewhat tall, but skinny as a rail. She also doesn’t take shit from people. Fuck this low-life. Ungrateful basturd. He got a new pair of jeans!
Honestly guy has no leg to stand on. He tried robbing her, and if she wanted to rape him for a few days for her enjoyment then so what honestly?
What’s he complaining about? She should have held him longer