Pothead Pooches and Chronic Cats

This is not really scientific at all, but one newspaper has reported an increase in marijuana use among dogs and cats.  They say it’s because so many people have been getting medical marijuana, that more family pets are becoming exposed to it.  They wrote about it almost as if it were a bad thing.

It’s only natural.  Dogs, cats and all mammals have a similar circulatory and respiratory system to us, they eat similar foods and experience similar pleasures and pains.

Of course, lots of people commented on the article saying things like “anybody who give their dog marijuana should be charged with animal abuse, shot, hung, drawn and quartered, and probably neutered for good measure.”  This indicates two things.  1.  They don’t understand dogs  2.  They don’t understand marijuana.  Dogs love that stuff.  I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

We were sitting around, about a dozen of us in a small room.  This was back in the day when if you passed a joint around among 12 people, 12 people were going to take a hit, there was none of this “No, thank you, I’ve given it up” that you hear from all the lightweights nowadays.  Anyway, somebody gave my dog, Grover, a dirty white little ragmop who was loved by everybody, a shotgun.  I can’t remember my exact words, but it was something like “Hey, don’t do that to my dog, that’s not cool, dogs don’t know what it’s about, they haven’t got any  social context for this, what the hell’s the matter with you?”

Anyway, before I was through ranting, the joint had been passed, the next person was taking a hit and there was Grover, sitting obediently but eagerly in front of them, with his greedy, begging, doggy eyes seriously jonesing for another hit.  Everybody had a good laugh and my case evaporated.  He took to pot like a duck takes to water, and that is no exaggeration.

I’m guessing that wolves, foxes, dingoes and hyenas probably would, too, although I don’t plan on testing the hypotheses.  Might be something we should think about, though.  Sedatives for lions, rhinoceroses or not particularly social gorillas might be a very useful product.

Lots of farmers give marijuana to their cows, saying that it makes them produce more milk.  Of course, you only ever hear about this when a farmer’s been busted, which means the police don’t buy their story.

It seems to me it should be easy to do a test.  Not to prove the guilt or innocence of any one dairy farmer.  But if marijuana can boost the dairy industry, isn’t that one more argument for legalization?

It’s a wonder drug, people.  That’s all there is to it.