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A couple of “historians” — Leon University medieval history lecturer Margarita Torres and art historian Jose Manuel Ortega del Rio –who have apparently been  reading far too much Dan Brown, say they have found the Holy Grail.  In their book “Kings of the Grail”, published last week, they identified a goblet at a church in Leon as the one Jesus Christ drank from at the Last Supper.

Jeeeeezus

I see several flaws with their story.

First, it’s not a dead sure certain thing that  Jesus  was a real person.  We accept it because there  are some historical accounts of preachers who had that name at around that time, but historians of the  1st century were  probably, if you can believe it, even more truth  challenged than historians today. Another reason most of us accept it as a historical fact is because we’re tired of arguing with Christians about it.  Seriously, it gets to be tiresome, arguing with Christians.  Or dogmatic people of any stripe, really, but we’re talking about Christians now.  We also tend to accept it because it’s not really important.  “O.K.,” I feel comfortable saying as an atheist. “He was a real person.  There was a man called Jesus of Nazareth who the Romans killed in a particular gruesome way, which was the standard punishment at that time.  That doesn’t mean his mother was a virgin when he was born, or that he rose from the dead, or that he  was any more the son of God than  anybody else.  Or, in fact, that God exists.”

Second, they have no solid evidence that the goblet comes from the Middle East at all.  It was a gift to the local warlord (Oh, very well…king) from some Moor, approximately a thousand years after Christ, in the era when Moorish soldiers were  picking up knick knacks like that all over the known  universe.  Unless there was a bill of sale, indicating all owners for the previous millennium, they’ve got nothing.

Third, even if they could prove  the goblet came from somewhere around Jerusalem, at some time around  30 a.d., that doesn’t mean it was his.  He wasn’t the only person  in the area who drank wine and owned a cup.  Was there DNA evidence?  Some sacred saliva?  Was there a fingerprint of Jesus?  How would anybody know?  There are no fingerprints or DNA samples to test it against.  We have no idea what Jesus looked like.  If he were to appear on the streets of Manhattan today, he would probably be arrested.

Fourth, if it was Jesus’ cup, it was a bit gaudy, wasn’t it?  Gold, with onyx, amethyst, and all sorts or weird precious gems inlaid.  I’m no Christian, but it was my impression Jesus wasn’t really into stuff like that.  Of course, it would fit in well with the modern, materialist Jesus, but it doesn’t smack of historical realism.

Fifth, as I mentioned before, it doesn’t really matter.  If that was the cup Jesus’ drank from at the last supper, O.K.  I guess it’s like finding the guitar Elvis played in High School, but for Christians.  It neither enhances nor contradicts claims about his divinity.

Nonetheless, Christians are excited about it.  They are flocking to the church in droves.

I just watched a Discovery channel thingie on “An Earthquake in New York” which was mostly a what-if, like what if a meteorite hit the  world tomorrow, or something like that, a whole lot of scare talk about the damage that would be caused as all the brick buildings would just collapse, and they would, no doubt about that,  but the only reasons they gave for thinking there would be a quake was a 5.something in 1884, and a bit of talk about the 14th street fault line, with some geologist saying things like “it’s not if, it’s when” and “6,000 years is nothing in geological time.”

This is the way the world ends

But earthquakes seem to be happening a lot lately.  There was a series of them in L.A., which weren’t so scary for their severity (I wasn’t there, but most reports I got was that they were no big deal) but the scary part is that there were a series of them.  Instead of just happening and being over, they would last for awhile.  A change in pattern.

Then I read today that Yellowstone had a 4 pointer, which is scary because they’ve got this thing underground there called “The Yellowstone Supervolcano,” which is like a jillion times worse than a regular volcano.  Yellowstone could be the big one.

So, it seems a little futile that we argue about religion, and lifestyles, and which movies deserve an Oscar, and who’s wearing what and who’s sleeping with who, and what we should eat.  Earthquakes and Volcanoes are going to kill us all.

I woke up at 9:30 to find out it  was 10:30, so that was a bad start, but then Helena made apple crumble for breakfast and the funny part was she used a recipe from a chapter in Sam’s English textbook, ‘George’s Apple Crumble,’ and it was delicious.  I am a big fan of all foods containing apple.  Apple pie, apple strudel, apple pancakes, apple cake, apples in a salad with walnuts and raisins, apple jam, apple sauce, even apple flavored ice cream.  This apple crumble did not disappoint.  The apple filling tasted like apple of course, but the crumble was edible gold.

It was a late breakfast and an early lunch.  Helena had heard from her colleagues about a hot new burger place, Peter’s Burgers, not far from us, (right by the Karlin entrance to the Karlin-Žižkov tunnel) so we decided to give it a try.  Nice looking place, the service was fine, everybody liked the hot wings which, by Czech standards were fairly spicy (in the rest of the world, that would be considered ‘not spicy’), the french fries were good, but for a place that  has ‘burgers’ right there in there name, their burgers were not that great.

Oh, they were appropriately large.  Anyone who lacks the detachable lower jawbone God gave to the Anaconda would not be able to get their mouth all the way around it, and they were loaded up with extra ingredients like bacon and  cheese (they did not have a mushroom burger – I felt that was a lack), they just weren’t all that great.  Burger King does better.

Then we went to the zoo!  I love the zoo.  And it turned out to be a great day for it.  Not too hot, just a lovely spring day, and not too crowded, surprisingly.  I think part of the reason may be the way Prague Zoo is operating these days.

Once upon a time, there were the animals, and that was it.  You went to the zoo to see animals.  You walked around the zoo, seeing one animal after another until you’d seen all the animals, and then you went home.  Now, it’s more like an animal-themed theme park.  There’s a playground for the little kids about every where you turn around and  more restaurants and snack stands than there are on Wenceslas Square.  On the one hand, the kids are all busy going down slides and climbing rope net walls, and the tables in the restaurants are all filled with people, so  it’s much easier to find a good place to stand by the fence and get a good view of the bactrian camel.

We saw seals, and flamingos, and tigers, and snakes, and monkeys grooming each other, and a giraffe taking a pee, and a big, scary gorilla and a little one climbing a rope, and elephants, but we didn’t get a good view of them, and tapirs, there was a really huge tapir, he was cool.

Also, today was our 12th anniversary.  So, it was a pretty great day.

When one follows  American  politics too closely, one comes to think that the world is doomed, that we are within a cybercentimeter of a microcontrolled fascist dystopia, that planetary strangulation under a mountain of poisonous gunk is imminent, that there  is no hope for the future of the human race.

Fortunately for the world, most of it is not America.  Switzerland is considering a move to give all of its residents 2,500 francs a month,  which is not chump change, even in Switzerland,  Uruguay is totally legalizing  pot (although, credit where it’s due, Colorado and Washington have legalized the sacred herb, but there are still 48 other states where they will lock your ass into a cold, gray cage and keep you there for a significant percentage of your ruined life just for a bit of unauthorized partying) and Norway….well, wow.

A Land With a Brilliant Future

Norway is offering free college tuition, not just to it’s own people, but to anybody in the world.  If I was a bit younger and still single, I’d probably be heading to Norway right now.

How can they afford it?  Well, we’ll see, but I think this is an  investment that’s going to pay off for Norway.

First, the  offer is for tuition, they aren’t offering to pay everybody’s living expenses.  So, those who come will be pumping  money into the Norwegian economy instead of taking it out.  But, they’re offering some financial aid to those from poor countries, so that might be canceled out.

Mostly, though, I think it  will pay off for Norway like this: say they get 10 million college students a year, which would be a huge influx in  a country the size of Norway.  Let’s say 1% of those students are genius types whose work in the labs leads to major innovations in computer and communications gadgetry, those innovations will take place in Norway first.

Let’s say  1% of those   (I’m just spitballing  with this 10 million figure – you could use 1 million or 100 million, the logic would be the same, even though the numbers would be different.  They said everybody, they  didn’t say spaces were limited,  but there’s an upper limit to what they can take.  China could send  them 100 million students, way beyond the Norwegian population or the  ability of its infrastructure) form tight bonds with Norway, fall in love with the country or just one  of its people, and stay.  Norway gets an intelligent, well educated, and deeply loyal work force of 100,000 people, with diverse  backgrounds from all over the world.  Again, advantage Norway.

Most of those students will go back to their home countries, but there they will be good will ambassadors, and they will frequently  return for vacations.

I predict that, however much money Norway is spending on this project, they will profit magnificently in the end.

It totally boggles  the mind what science can  do these days.  I can’t say I understood  everything in this article, it got a bit science-y, but the gist of it is that  scientists can create life.

Now, they are talking about a yeast chromosome, which might not get  you real excited right off the bat because in a simple word association  exercise, ‘yeast’ is most often followed by ‘infection,’ but it’s also a key element in the making of bread and beer.  Laboratories and factories churning out unlimited amounts of bread and beer, at affordable prices, would  be a seriously good thing.

But this is just the beginning.  Soon, there will be  tiny, single minded, cancer cell eating cells, and then little beetles that can eat garbage and excrete salad dressing, then artificial meat to solve the world’s hunger problem and, even greater miracle, to do it without pissing off the good folks at PETA, then little creatures who look like leprechauns and really aren’t very bright but are able to survive in deep space, and on and on.

Science does not stop.  Each new development inspires millions of college kids, old guys tinkering in their garages, crazy old hermits living with piles of garbage and herds of cats, and serious scientists, to make something better.  They may not be as numerous as the army of people posting videos to YouTube, but they are smart, they are ambitious, and they are working 24/7, in all corners of the world.

We are going to breeze through the robot and cyborg phases of our development in three or four decades, and eventually just go ahead and design a race of supermen. They will be able to walk through fire, read fine print at over a mile away, and hear a human heart beating when it’s buried under a meter of snow. They will look like Legolas and Galadriel.

Science is so cool.