Today is Earth Day, which is only two days after 420, which is appropriate because marijuana grows out of the earth, therefore to disrespect the earth is to show disrespect for marijuana, and no good Ganja-worshipper would ever want to do that.
Happy Earth Day!
Earth day is also precisely one week before Čarodějnice, when we have bonfires and burn witches, and just 8 days before May Day, a day of sunshine, solidarity with the struggling masses and a kiss under a cherry tree on Petřín Hill. It is Spring, the lambs they are a birthing and the flowers are in riotous bloom.
So, on this day in honor of Gaia, the Earth Goddess Mother, I offer 3 ideas about how to solve our environmental mess.
1. 100% recycling. Why should I have to worry about separating my garbage into paper, plastic, glass, and regular garbage? Why should I get my hands dirty? Why are there always homeless people around the garbage cans? I don’t begrudge them or anything, but it makes things awkward. Why do we have landfills, and toxic wastes leaking into the soil? The way I see it, set up high tech, state of the art recycling facilities all over the place so that all organic garbage gets mulched and finds a 2nd life as topsoil in places that need it, all glass, plastic, metal, rubber, wood, paper and other materials get reused, thus lowering the prices of many basic materials, and the homeless people get a job. They still get to hang around garbage all day and pick up useful knick-knacks, they get a minimum wage for it, and everybody wins.
2. Public Transportation. It’s not a glamorous topic, but I believe in it. The more busses, trams, and trains there are moving around a city, the fewer there are cars, and every car less makes the air a bit more breathable.
PT could be better, though. I think one car in every Metro train should have a counter where they sell beer and light snacks. Maybe have hot young waitresses walking up and down the aisles with lemon scented hot towels.
3. The 3rd suggestion has to do with global warming. It’s a bit too late to stop it completely, no matter how drastically we act now. So, we have to start figuring out how to adapt to it. It could have some advantages. Large swathes of Canada and Russia, an area that is larger than many continents, will enter the temperate zone and become crop growing powerhouses.
The hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, erosion of low lying areas, the total loss of a few tropical paradises of the atoll island type, etc… are problems, but they have a single and simple solution. They are being caused by rising ocean levels (due to all the melting icebergs), so all we need to do is lower the ocean level a bit. Bring some of that water inland. Luxury communities built all along the world’s coastlines with lots of canals, like in Venice, California, but millions of them and some much bigger. Fish farms, raising lobsters and mussels and cockles and clams and oysters and crabs and shrimp and basically anything that will thrive in salt water. A few deep water lakes in shithole areas that nobody was using anyway, like the Sahara or Saudi Arabia or New Mexico.
Lemons, lemonade, you know.
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