Tag Archives: Bill O’Reilly

October 31, 2011 · 10:57 pm

I Got Your Extra Pepperoni Right HERE, Lady!

Well, it turns out that Herman Cain had some sexual harassment charges against him, once.  It was back when he was top dog at the National Restaurant  Association, they were paid “5 figures” (at least $10,000) each to drop the case and never  talk about it again.

Republican Presidential Candidate HERMAN CumstAIN

If $10,000  seems small time – after all, Bill O’Reilly paid “between 2 and 10 million” to Andrea Mackris to shut up about the famous   felafel phone call, after  everybody had already heard the tape any way- just remember, this is before Herman Cain was famous.  10,000 is probably the price for a regular CEO.   If you are a female member  of the 99% and your sleazy  boss, Eddie, tries to fuck you in his office, you might be able to squeeze a hundred bucks out of him by threatening to tell his wife.  Probably not even.

Anyway, Cain spent the day making non-denial denials and trying to downplay the whole thing.  My favorite line was this:  “Once I referenced this lady’s height and I was standing near her” (and she) “thought that that was too close for comfort.  It was in my office, the door was wide open, and my secretary was sitting right there, and we were standing there and I made the little gesture.”

Could you be a bit more specific?  Was the reference to the girl’s height maybe “Oh, my gosh, your tits are right at my mouth level, hot diggety, let me just rest my head on those pillows, heh, heh”?  Or was she a short gal and the reference was to convenient blow jobs?  Was the “little gesture” maybe a palm cupping her butt, or a sleazy hip grind?

Sure, this is a dirty political trick on the part of whoever brought this up, and it has no legal relevance since he was never charged, but…  it did happen, whatever it was, and  it is worth  looking into.  Just for the comedic value, if nothing else.

Leave a comment

Filed under Blogs' Archive

Tagged as , , ,

September 20, 2011 · 8:09 pm

Bill O’Reilly – 2nd Most Powerful Man in America?

Of course, you all know Bill O’Reilly.  He’s the guy who tried to prove that God exists by saying “The tides come in.  The tides come out.  You can’t explain that,” despite the fact that there is, actually, a perfectly good scientific explanation, and has been since the 1700s.  He’s also the

Loofah Lover Bill O'Reilly

guy who convinced millions of American’s that liberals were waging a war on Christmas.  He was also the accused in perhaps the most comical sexual harassment lawsuit ever.  There was a phone conversation, on tape, in which he was trying to talk all sexy like and suggested that he would like to insert a loofah, a fibrous shower brush which is long and kind of dick shaped, into her vagina, but he got confused with the words and called it a felafel, which is crushed chick peas rolled into balls and deep fried, served with mixed vegetables  in a gooey sauce inside a piece of pita bread, and would be a really gross and unsanitary thing to insert into any bodily orifice other than one’s mouth, for the purpose of eating.

The girl eventually dropped the lawsuit, because Billo paid her a shitload of money.

Anyway, Bill was talking to a reporter from Newsweek the other day when he said this:  “I have more power than anybody other than the president, in the sense that I can get things changed, quickly.  I don’t have to go through the legislative process; I don’t have to do any of that. I can just bring it to the people, and say, look, this has gotta be dealt with.”

Kind of an arrogant thing to say, but the scary part is, I think he’s right.  Maybe not 2nd most powerful, but still, seriously powerful.

He’s incredibly stupid.  He’s anti-science, a bit of a paranoid religious kook and a bona-fide sexist pig.  But, there are apparently millions of Americans who like that kind of thing.  It’s a serious problem.

2 Comments

Filed under Blogs' Archive

Tagged as

August 31, 2011 · 10:47 pm

Bill O’Reilly’s Wife Shtooping Cop, Website Says

Now, of course I enjoy writing about news and, like most journalists, I enjoy a fairly sensationalized version of those events.  However, some times a story gains traction on the internet, and even though it kind of sounds like it might not be true, it just sounds like such a good story that you’ve got to repeat it.

Don't ask, Bill, unless you really want to know

Such is the  story of Bill O’Reilly’s wife.  The story, as reported by Gawker, is that O’Reilly contacted a friend of his, Nassau police commissioner Lawrence Mulvey, and asked him to find out the name of the detective who is boning his wife.

Now, I think I should mention at this point that O’Reilly and his wife are well separated, probably heading for a divorce, and they haven’t lived in the same house for over a year.  So, get over it, Bill.  She could be having orgies, she could be sleeping with women, she could be socializing with liberals even, it wouldn’t be any of your business.

Anyway, the job of  investigation fell to Detective Richard Harasym, who figured the whole thing was illegal and spilled the beans.

Now, there are two or three good reasons for believing this story, and one thing that makes me suspicious, so I’m passing it along, but let me share my reasoning.

I believe it because it’s the kind of thing O’Reilly would do.  This is the guy who thought he was being all sexy talking about a felafel when he meant a loofah, and I’m not even sure that’s all that sexy.  This is the guy who thought there was a war against Christmas.  I’m not surprised his wife left him, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she found a younger, more virile man pretty darned quick.

But calling the cops to investigate her, that’s definitely the kind of thing he’d do.  He’s a control freak.  He shouts over his guests.  He always has to be right.  So, I wouldn’t be surprised that he is a creepy stalker.

I believe it because Mulvey got interviewed and didn’t exactly deny it.  Didn’t admit to anything criminal, mind you, but didn’t deny it.

I believe it because, even though Gawker can be pretty darned sarcastic, they didn’t present this as humor.  They’ve got a reputation to protect, too, so I at least believe that they sincerely believe it.

Now, the one reason that I’m skeptical:  the names.  Maureen McPhilmy?  That sounds like a porn name.  “Oh, Bill, oh, come on and McPhilmy, baby.”  Gross.

And detective Richard Harasym?  Dick Harasym?  That’s like one of those joke names that you might use to sign a petition for a cause you don’t believe in, like Mike Hunt or Heywood Giablome.

So, I googled Maureen McPhilmy and that is, indeed, her real name.  I’ll keep you updated as more details come in.

4 Comments

Filed under Blogs' Archive

Tagged as , , ,

July 26, 2011 · 4:37 pm

Christian’s are no better than anyone else

Remember Bill O’Reilly?  He’s the right wing TV talk guy who tried to convince everybody a few years back that liberals were waging a war against Christmas.  A shocking number of people believed him.  Before that he was perhaps most famous for his absurdly comical sexual

Stupidest Man in the World?

harassment case, in which America discovered that O’Reilly either didn’t know the difference between a loofah and a felafel or had one of the weirdest sex fetishes ever.  He paid the girl a couple million dollars and she dropped the case.

Anyway, Bill hasn’t been getting as much attention lately, largely because Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh have pushed the discussion so far to the right that Bill-O actually seems like the voice of reason: almost.

His latest schtick is to criticize the media for referring to Anders Behring-Breivik, the Norwegian white supremacist asshole who opened fire on a bunch of kids at a summer camp, because sometimes a bomb just isn’t enough, as a Christian.  Bear in mind, Breivik calls himself a Christian, the Norwegian police call him a Christian and his 1,500 page manifesto (what is it with crazy mass murderers writing manifestos lately?  Is this what you do now if you can’t get published?) was written from a Christian perspective.

O’Reilly says that nobody who believes in Jesus Christ could possibly commit mass murder.  Well, then, George Bush is not a Christian.  Dick Cheney is not a Christian.  In fact, the entire Republican party and everybody who approved of the war in Iraq is now, by Bill O’Reilly’s definition, not a Christian.  Jim Jones was not a Christian.  The population of Germany during World War II was not made up of Christians.  The American Civil War was waged by the most un-Christian goddamned heathens you’ve ever seen, on both sides.  The Spanish Inquisition was not conducted by Christians and neither were the Crusades.

By O’Reilly’s definition, Christianity barely exists at all.

Moron.

6 Comments

Filed under Blogs' Archive

Tagged as ,