Dang, those anti-marijuana people just seize on one lame excuse after another, don’t they.
Their latest concern is that people driving up from Portland to get wasted in Washington and Nebraska farm boys driving back from Colorado high will be a risk on the road.
We’re going to Denver, dude.
I believe they are wrong on at least one count but, more than that, I have a solution that should keep everybody happy.
I think they are wrong because stoned drivers are safer drivers, and no, I am not just making shit up because I am stoned right now, although I am, but here is my case. Sure, stoned drivers have slowed reflexes and, perhaps, impaired visual acuity, but that is more than offset by the complete elimination of aggressive tendencies. The stoned driver is never, ever a speeder, a tailgater, or a lane changer. They seldom honk at other drivers or signal them with rude gestures because, quite frankly, they can’t be bothered. They are perfectly happy to poke along in the slow lane of interstate 80 at 55 mph or less for hours and hours. So, not necessarily better drivers, but safer ones.
Anyway, I’d like to see some studies on that.
Anyway, here’s my solution that should keep everybody happy and I offer the idea perfectly free of charge to anyone who lives in Northern Oregon, Western Idaho, B.C., Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Kansas or, of course, in Washington or Colorado.
The Cannibus! Leave your car at home and take a trip across the state line. Go Cannibus! And leave the driving to us! You could have onboard munchies, some good sounds, some drinks.
You’d have a nice little business, all the stoners would be happy and unhassled, there’d be less traffic on the roads overall and the cops could sit around and eat donuts all night, which is a good thing, because it is better than any alternative.
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