Once a month, we publish Watson’s World News, a newspaper in Easy English, as an advertisement for our language school. We download funny stories from the internet, rewrite them a bit to simplify the English, and voila…something for the students to read, something the teacher can use to direct a conversation.
Anyway, to tell you the truth, it gets to be almost more of a pain in the ass than it’s worth, as far as time put in, but I do love combing through the weird stories. This one was from Ananova:
Traditional Russian Hairdresser's Garb
A Russian man who tried to rob a hairdresser at gunpoint ended up a victim when she beat him senseless (he says), tied him up naked and used him as a sex slave for three days.
Viktor Jasinski, 32, doesn’t deny that he went to the salon in Meshchovsk to rob it.
But after demanding the day’s takings he instead found himself overcome by black belt karate owner Olga Zajac, 28, who floored him with a kick and then tied him up with a hair dryer cable.
The blonde then took him into a back room and stripped him naked, using him as a sex slave for three days to “teach him a lesson”, police say.
She eventually let him go, telling him: “Get out of my sight.”
Viktor first went to the hospital to treat his swollen testicles and then to the police where he explained he had been held hostage in a back room at the hairdressers, chained up naked with pink fluffy handcuffs to a radiator – and fed nothing but Viagra.
When police arrived to question Zajac, she reportedly said: “What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles (around £30) when he left.”
They were both arrested.
My favorite line in that story was “Viktor first went to the hospital to treat his swollen testicles.” Now, I know it’s not nice to laugh about suffering, and sexual abuse is a horrible thing even when practiced by a woman upon a man, I guess, I wouldn’t know first hand, but…
He walked into her shop with a gun, trying to steal her money, so fuck him. He’s a thief and a lowlife and I wouldn’t object if she’d shot him, so why should I object that she tied him to a pole, drugged him and used his dick as a vibrator for a weekend. It didn’t kill him none.
I hope he goes to jail for a good, long time.
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