Now, of course I enjoy writing about news and, like most journalists, I enjoy a fairly sensationalized version of those events. However, some times a story gains traction on the internet, and even though it kind of sounds like it might not be true, it just sounds like such a good story that you’ve got to repeat it.
Don't ask, Bill, unless you really want to know
Such is the story of Bill O’Reilly’s wife. The story, as reported by Gawker, is that O’Reilly contacted a friend of his, Nassau police commissioner Lawrence Mulvey, and asked him to find out the name of the detective who is boning his wife.
Now, I think I should mention at this point that O’Reilly and his wife are well separated, probably heading for a divorce, and they haven’t lived in the same house for over a year. So, get over it, Bill. She could be having orgies, she could be sleeping with women, she could be socializing with liberals even, it wouldn’t be any of your business.
Anyway, the job of investigation fell to Detective Richard Harasym, who figured the whole thing was illegal and spilled the beans.
Now, there are two or three good reasons for believing this story, and one thing that makes me suspicious, so I’m passing it along, but let me share my reasoning.
I believe it because it’s the kind of thing O’Reilly would do. This is the guy who thought he was being all sexy talking about a felafel when he meant a loofah, and I’m not even sure that’s all that sexy. This is the guy who thought there was a war against Christmas. I’m not surprised his wife left him, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she found a younger, more virile man pretty darned quick.
But calling the cops to investigate her, that’s definitely the kind of thing he’d do. He’s a control freak. He shouts over his guests. He always has to be right. So, I wouldn’t be surprised that he is a creepy stalker.
I believe it because Mulvey got interviewed and didn’t exactly deny it. Didn’t admit to anything criminal, mind you, but didn’t deny it.
I believe it because, even though Gawker can be pretty darned sarcastic, they didn’t present this as humor. They’ve got a reputation to protect, too, so I at least believe that they sincerely believe it.
Now, the one reason that I’m skeptical: the names. Maureen McPhilmy? That sounds like a porn name. “Oh, Bill, oh, come on and McPhilmy, baby.” Gross.
And detective Richard Harasym? Dick Harasym? That’s like one of those joke names that you might use to sign a petition for a cause you don’t believe in, like Mike Hunt or Heywood Giablome.
So, I googled Maureen McPhilmy and that is, indeed, her real name. I’ll keep you updated as more details come in.
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