Tag Archives: Mitt Romney

January 11, 2012 · 9:37 pm

After New Hampshire

I have just been defriended by an Australian lady on facebook, for making disparaging remarks about their national cuisine.  I’m sure Australia’s a lovely country.  Great beaches.  Cute little Koala Bears.  Kangaroos.

But Vegemite really does suck.  Sorry.

Anyway, that’s not my blog topic for this evening.  There seem to be two main schools of thought

You all know what Mitt Romney looks like. Here's a picture of New Hampshire.

in analyzing the results of the New Hampshire primary.  First, it’s a big Romney win.  He won in Iowa and New Hampshire, he’s pretty much got a lock on the nomination.  He’s got the momentum, he’s got the money, the ABR* crowd is splintered, that’s it, it’s all over but the shouting.

The other view is that Romney is toast.  He only won Iowa by  8 votes (that’s 0 percentage points) and he didn’t get over 40% in New Hampshire, where they supposedly love the guy.  This is despite spending massive amounts of money.

I tend toward the second view, but I’m not so sure as I was a couple of weeks ago.  39 percent is not 40%, but it’s still 17 points more than Ron Paul got, and Rick Santorum really didn’t do very well at all.  If Romney wins in South Carolina and Florida, he might very well win the nomination.

But here’s the rub:  a Republican candidate needs 1144 delegates to get the nomination.  37 have been chosen. (not exactly, because Iowa is complicated and the delegates elected at the precinct caucuses go to a county convention where they choose the delegates to the state convention where they choose the delegates to the national convention, but still, we have indications)  Of those, Romney has 20, Santorum 12, Paul 3 and Huntsman 2.  Four out of the 6 people still in the running have delegates.  Gingrich and Perry may  well pick up a few as the race moves south.  Southerners vote for Southerners.  Perhaps it’s local pride.  Perhaps it’s just that they feel comfortable with someone who has the same accent.  Perhaps it’s because they are stupid.

In any event, if Romney can’t get over 50% in any state (which is likely, since he couldn’t top 40% in New Hampshire), and nobody drops out and leaves him their delegates, then he goes to the convention without the required 1144 votes, and then we will see some desperate politicking, you betcha.

Romney might try to buy off Gingrich or Santorum with the vice-presidency.  Paul might try to make alliances, too, although he’s not generally very good at it.

We could get one of those really interesting conventions, which last for days and lead to massive verbal abuse and occasionally physical violence.  That would be fun to watch.

 

*anybody but Romney

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October 4, 2011 · 7:52 pm

How Cain Will Win Republican Nomination

Well, first of all, I don’t blame Chris Christie.  It’s not his fault that he had to give another speech saying he’s not running for president.  He made it pretty clear in that speech at the Reagan Library last week, where he said (I am paraphrasing)”Nope, no way, forget about it, not even

Herman (I hate Muslims more than anybody) Cain

thinking about running.”  But the press spent the week writing stories about how Christie was certainly just kidding and undoubtedly about to get into the race, because it was much easier than headinginto downtown Manhattan with a camera and a notepad.  Or Boston.  Or San Francisco.  Or Asheville, North Carolina.  Never mind.  They are no  longer actually needed as a dispenser of news.

The Republicans who are still in the race are busy making fools out of themselves.  Michele Bachmann  was doing a radio call in show when somebody called in to say that Obama was the worst president ever, and he’d vote for Charles Manson before he’d ever vote for Obama.  He said he was pulling for Michele, and then she said “Aw, gee, thanks” without responding to the Charles Manson comment at all.   So, Charles Manson fans support Michele Bachmann.   Must be the eyes.

Then, it turns out Rick Perry’s family owns a hunting lodge down in Texas called “Niggerhead.”  Perry says they only lease the land, they don’t own it outright, and they painted over the sign with that name on it years ago, but the difference between owning and leasing isn’t really relevant, (it’s what they call it that counts) and plenty of locals say it wasn’t all that many years ago that they painted the sign over, like maybe 2 or 3.  Like maybe about the time the Good Lord Jesus told Governor Goodhair he should run for president.

Undoubtedly the most comical character in the Republican sandbox, however, is Herman Cain.  It’s not just that he’s a black man in the Republican party.  We’ve seen Michael Steele, and Alan Keyes, and Clarence Thomas, and Alan West, so that’s not really a new phenomenon.

No, Cain is funny in his own right.  He wrote a book outlining what he’d do differently as President.  He’d keep a copy of the constitution on his desk.  He’d replace the Inaugural Ball with a series of celebratory occasions, because I guess those cost less than a big, fancy ball.  And, he’d rewrite Hail to the Chief, because it needs more gospel.  That’s his platform.  And he’s doing great.  He could win this thing.

Here’s how it could happen:  Romney will continue to do great in the eyes of the main stream media, who apparently are just writing whatever stories they feel like writing, right up until the primaries begin.  Then he will fade, because as much as old school Republicans love him, that’s how much teabaggers hate him, and they will vote.

A lot of Republicans will vote for Cain, thinking that if they nominate a black man, he can beat Obama, because they actually are retarded enough to believe the nonsense they spew about how Obama only won because he is black.  Far fetched?  It’s how Sarah Palin wound up with the VP nomination last time around, isn’t it?

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June 14, 2011 · 8:57 pm

The Great “Debate”

I didn’t actually watch any of the Republican debate yesterday.  As politically obsessed as I am, as prone as I am to sit in front of a computer for several hours a day, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  Time is limited, life is short, and it was predictable.  You knew in advance that they were all going

Joan of Minneapolis

It's the eyes. You will vote for me, you will vote for me...

to say Obama was the worst president in the world, ever, that the only way out of America’s economic crisis was to reduce government spending (not military spending, of course) and that they would never consider raising taxes, not ever.  And that’s pretty much how it went.

I did spend half an hour watching Conan O’Brien’s graduation speech at Dartmouth.  That was worthwhile.

Nonetheless, having read up on the debate, I have some opinions on it.

First, John King reminded me in a way of Alex Trebek.  Can’t quite put my finger on why.

Secondly, that is not a debate.  That is a group interview, and not a terribly thorough one at that.  I’ve been to plenty of job interviews where the questions were tougher, and I am not exactly a high level executive.  Questions like “Which do you prefer, American Idol or Dancing With the Stars” or “Deep Dish or Thin Crust,” are lame, pointless and an embarrassment to thinking people everywhere.  I doubt very much if Lincoln and Douglas were ever questioned about whether they preferred an English or Western style saddle, I don’t remember Kennedy and Nixon being asked which they preferred, Bonanza or Rawhide.  When did the leadership of the free world become so horribly trivialized?

The big pundits are all saying that Romney was the big winner of the evening, because he didn’t lose.  He’s ahead in the polls, he stays ahead.  He didn’t really improve his position, though.

Michele Bachmann, IMHO, was the evening’s big winner.  By using the forum to officially announce that she is running, she not only got a lot of free publicity, she effectively knocked Sarah Palin and Tim Pawlenty out of the race.

For slightly different reasons.  Pawlenty, like Bachmann, is from Minnesota, and both want the Teabaggers support.  Michele, however, is loved by the baggers, from the bottom of their crazy little hearts.  So, she’s got the Minnesota baggers solidly in her corner, and poor Timmy’s got nobody.  Even in Minnesota, he is second best.

Sarah, like Michele, is loved by the baggers, but Michele announced 1st.  Also, the two are practically interchangeable.  Both are good looking women, both are wild eyed fanatics, both have a brood of kids, both come from places where people spend a lot of time indoors in winter being alcoholic and committing suicide.  Michele is probably the smarter of the two, but the baggers will give her a pass on that.  It’s not as if she were actually smart or anything.

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