Ha Ha! A penguin bit Newt Gingrich! I like penguins, I think they’re adorable, I enjoyed Happy Feet, and now I like them all the more. Of course, there’s no left-right issue here. I’m sure the poor bird didn’t distinguish between Newt and the thousands of other pasty, old, somewhat overweight white men who troop by his pen every day.
Would you strap this dog to the roof of your car and then go for a ride?
In fact, I can just imagine the penguins talking: “You know what I hate about this place? The way we’re just going about our daily business, and they keep walking these groups of people through here, who just stare at us. What the fuck, do they think it’s a zoo or something?”
“Ummm, well, actually, it IS a zoo.”
(long pause and dirty look)
“Well, anyway, the fat fucker pissed me off so I bit him.”
I also kind of wonder why Newt had to be inside the enclosure. Does being a presidential candidate mean you have some special connection to penguins?
But it’s a non-story. It’s about as relevant to Newt’s character as Newt is to the election, any more.
I’d much rather focus on the Seamus on the Roof story, since Ann Romney just told Diane Sawyer that it was no big deal, they used to strap the old dog’s crate up on top of the roof all the damned time, just for fun.
Actually, I think we on the left are being a little hard on the old Mittster over this story. I mean, I’ve known lots of dogs and damned near every one of them loves hanging their heads out of the window as the car is hurtling down the road. So, I guess it’s possible that Seamus did enjoy that sort of thing but even with Irish Setters there must be limits.
A bit depends on what the crate was like. Was it some flimsy wire or plastic contraption where the dog was totally exposed to the howling wind? Or was it a sturdier model? I’m quite sure that Mitt was not speaking literally when he said it was “air-tight” or poor Seamus would not have survived the 12 hours. That’s O.K., Mitt. We don’t expect you to speak literally. But these are things the public wants to know about you before we vote.
We want to know the make and model of the crate you kept the dog in. We want to know how fast you were driving, how often you stopped for breaks (after you knew that poor Seamus had the shits) and whether or not Seamus enjoyed the same luxury accommodations on the return trip.
A re-enactment, with a “whatever became of Seamus” segment tacked on to the end should do it.
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