Tag Archives: origins of christmas

December 25th, 85,297 B.C.

Young Org woke up grumpily, as he had several times in the night.  All of his brothers and sisters and cousins and uncles and nieces and nephews had the boniest elbows in the world, he was sure of it.  That’s because he’d never seen any other animals like them in the world, and

Ho Ho Ho

rather suspected that their tribe was unique.  So, of course they had the boniest elbows of any like them in the world.  They were the only ones.

Old Baldbutt said there were other walking apes, who could talk like them and make fire, but everyone thought  old Baldbutt was crazy, and had been for years.  He looked at the sky a lot, touched his fingers as he grunted to himself, and was more or less useless on a hunt.  But, he told stories the children liked.  Even if the adults thought he was crazy, they knew he fulfilled an important role in the tribe.

Org turned over, to avoid Zarg’s elbow in his ribs, and suddenly his nose was in Gorlak’s lousy armpit.  He  turned again and found himself outside the circle, blocked from the fire’s rays, and the temperature differential was enough to shake him awake.  He was about to claw his way back into the pile, when he noticed his uncle baldbutt sitting near the entrance to the cave.

Org approached the old man.  “Uncle, why sit here look frozen dead land.  Come, drink broth.”

“We should add some meat to that broth, boy.”

“But uncle, you know we cannot,” the boy said, not sure if his uncle was joking or suggesting insurrection.  The tribe’s meat was almost finished.  To send men out to hunt in this frozen wasteland was to send them to their deaths.  The nuts and some of the other things they had gathered in the summer might last a couple more months, but there was no hope of getting more food.  The long winter had set in, it seemed as if this time the sun god had deserted them for good.  So, the remaining bit of dried gigantic mooselike creature was being closely rationed.

“Aye, but we could.”  Org’s uncle spoke with a very strange accent, using words like “Aye” when anyone else would say yes.  “The great God Zant is once again pushing his golden rock across the sky.  See!”

Org looked, and indeed saw a pale sun risen in the east, but just knew from that that he had overslept.  But then it dawned on him.  If he had overslept, that meant that everybody had overslept.  And that did not happen.

So, the sun actually was there earlier than the day before!  Which meant from now on, the days would get longer, the ice would melt, they  would fish, and hunt, and nuts and berries would grow.

He raced back into the cave.  Zant is close!  Zant is close!  The old man stood behind him, smiling confirmation.  People woke quickly then. They threw more logs on the fire.  They added some meat to the stone pot.  Everybody began talking.  Some began singing.

The presents, the tree, and all that other stuff got added later.

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