Tag Archives: rick perry

August 13, 2011 · 9:42 pm

Slick Rick’s Dick Trick

Really, I just like the rhyming headline.  I’m not bothered that Governor Goodhair, the guy who refuses stimulus funds and then complains that the government aid isn’t coming fast enough when his entire state catches fire, the man whose solution to a

Two things Perry really, really loves: Guns and Jesus

drought is to  pray  for rain, the man who actually, seriously suggested that Texas secede from the Union because, by golly, he just hates President Obama that much, jumped into the Republican race between the Iowa Republican candidates debate and the Ames straw poll, stealing the headlines for himself.  That was expected, that’s just politics and it was actually pretty good timing.

But I do object to Rick Perry.  After his massive prayer rally last week, it’s clear that he’s running as “the Christian candidate” and in order to take that title away from madwoman Michele Bachmann, who married her husband (Marcus “pray the gay away” Bachmann) based on a vision from God, he will have to be pretty fanatically Christian indeed.  In 2008 it was flag pins, in 2012 it will be about who  is wearing the biggest cross.  Keep it in church, people.  Religion and politics are not a good mix.

There are several other things I object to about Perry, but I’ll focus on  one.  He is the governor of  Texas.  Now, I hope that doesn’t sound too bigoted.  I know many fine people from Texas (Hi, Kelly! Hi, Gary! Hi, Megan!) but, seriously, the place is a shithole.  They are at, or near, the bottom in all sorts of important stats.  High school dropouts, people below the poverty line, number of people without health insurance, stuff like that.  Perry hasn’t exactly turned that around.  He’s just carried on in the Texas tradition, taking great pride in the fact that they  are number one in number of prisoners executed.

America has suffered enough from it’s Texan presidents:  Lyndon Johnson and the two Bushes.  Now, I know a lot of Democrats love Lyndon for civil rights and the Great Society and I will hand it to him – he was not a racist.  He was a totally unprincipled, power mad politician, a greedy, corrupt warmonger who caused the deaths of millions, but he was not a racist.

Also, some people would point out that the Bushes were both faux Texans.  Bullshit.  They were both elected to political office in Texas before they became President, they both claimed to be from Texas even if they were, spiritually, east coast elitists, and the voters of Texas accepted them.

I’m not saying it is impossible for a good politician to come out of  Texas.  Anne Richards would have probably made a great president.  But Rick Perry is no Anne Richards.  He is very clearly in the George W. Bush mold.

And that is something we really shouldn’t have to  go through again.

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July 17, 2011 · 7:05 pm

Rick Perry, Vessel of God

This is almost too weird to be believed.  Republican Governor Rick “even Ronald Reagan didn’t have hair this good” Perry of the Lone Star State of Texas is being supported by a group who call themselves The New Apostolic Reformation, and they are big believers in getting ready for the

Governor Goodhair

end times, which makes them fanatically pro-Israeli, which has always seemed a little creepy to me, that whole Jewish – Christian nutcase affinity, but there’s more than that.  Way more.  They have rituals involving branding irons and plumb lines in which they drive a metal stake into the Earth in every Texas county.  I hope they only did that once.  They believe their prayers ended mad cow disease and that the Democratic party is controlled by Jezebel and 3 lesser demons.  They believe that it is their Christian duty to take over the United States government, and dominate all aspects of society.

And Rick Perry is their man.  This is not a conspiracy theory.  This is out of their own mouths.  Per the Texas Observer:

At the end of their meeting, Perry asked the two pastors (Schleuter and Long) to pray over him. As the pastors would later recount, the Lord spoke prophetically as Schlueter laid his hands on Perry, their heads bowed before a painting of the Battle of the Alamo. Schlueter “declared over [Perry] that there was a leadership role beyond Texas and that Texas had a role beyond what people understand,” Long later told his congregation.

Ladies and gentlemen, the race for the Republican party’s presidential nomination has just gotten crazier still.

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