Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

September 16, 2011 · 12:42 pm

Pothead Palin

Well, Joe McGinniss’s book is due out in a few days.  I haven’t read it yet, but if the publisher would send me a free copy, I’d be happy to write a review.  You all remember Joe McGinniss, right?  He’s the guy who rented the house next door to the Palin’s so he could look into little

Joe McGinniss

Piper’s window and watch Sarah as she sunbathed nude by the pool, or something like that.

So, here’s what I’ve heard about the book so far, from various sources:

Sarah Palin used to smoked pot with one of her college professors.

Sarah Palin did cocaine once on a snowmobiling trip with Todd and friends.  They snorted it off the top of an oil drum.  However, Todd was the one who was really into it.

Sarah Palin is not a great mother, and her kids often have to make their own dinner.

Sarah Palin’s reading material of choice is People magazine.

Sarah Palin once had sex with a black guy.  Specifically, basketball star Glen Rice.

Sarah Palin was already pregnant when she married Todd.

Sarah Palin had an extra-marital affair with Todd’s business partner, Brad Hanson.

If Sarah Palin wasn’t an extreme right wing political figure who I consider a threat to the future of the human race, most of these things wouldn’t bother me at all.

The one night stand with Glen Rice happened when he was a star at Michigan and she was a star struck young sportscaster at an Anchorage TV station.  Rice confirmed the event, but didn’t say anything negative about Palin.  He said “She was a real sweetheart.”  If anything, she gets points for being less of a racist than I thought she was.  It was before she was married.

The extra-marital affair, as I see it, is between her and Todd.  If he’s not worried about it, I’m not.

As far as the drug use goes, I sure am not one to criticize.  I smoke more pot than Cheech AND Chong.  I never got into cocaine, I sort of see that as a rich person’s drug, but I’ve tried it as many times as Sarah Palin.  And the fact that they snorted it off an old oil drum while snowmobiling in Alaska actually makes it sort of cool.

The fact that she’s somewhat less than mother of the year doesn’t surprise me, when you see how messed up her kids are, but not cooking dinner every night is a long way short of actual child abuse.  If we’re going to make a big deal over that, then I have to confess that I let my kids watch cartoons too much.

She was already pregnant when she got married.  Well, so was my wife.  By about two weeks, we figured out, when we did the math later.

People magazine, though.  I’m not giving her a pass on that one.

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September 11, 2011 · 9:32 pm

Nikki Haley, Busted

Now, I’ll say one thing for the Teabagger wing of the already way too far to the right Republican party: they’ve got some good looking women.  Of course, good looks does not equal intelligence, honesty, compassion, decency, fairness or any of the other attributes we would like in our leaders, but Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and South Carolina governor Nikki Haley are all kind of hot.

Birds of a feather....Nikki Haley and Sarah Palin

Tonight’s blog is about Nikki Haley, because she is up to her neck in scandal and there’s no reason she should get a free pass just because it’s September 11th.

First, there was her trip to Paris.  In theory it was to drum up jobs for South Carolina, but it didn’t work.  She didn’t come back with any contracts.  Her and her posse stayed in 5 star hotels, dined at the best restaurants and probably did speak with people who could have provided jobs.  So she probably won’t go to jail over it.  You can’t prove she wasn’t trying to do her job, just that she wasn’t very good at it.

As to the question of whether she should have been staying in a cheaper hotel, I’m not going to quibble over that.  If you start going after everybody who pads their expense account a little bit, there is no end to it.  We have bigger fish to fry.

But then she made things worse by what she said about the reporter who broke the story.  Now, I only read about it so I didn’t hear the tone of voice, which I imagine was just dripping with southern sweetness when she said (something along the lines of) “Well, bless that little girl’s heart.”  First of all, “bless your heart” is southern for “eat shit and die.”  But it’s the “little girl” comment that is offensive.  You don’t have to be a raging feminist to realize that that is condescending and unprofessional.

Unfortunately, the Teabaggers won’t pick up on that at all.  The luxury trip to Paris on taxpayer money should end her career.  The snide comment to the reporter should end her career.  But it’s South Carolina, so she’ll probably get re-elected.  No matter how ineffective she is as governor.

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June 10, 2011 · 9:01 pm

What Sarah Palin Could Learn From Earl Long

I’m not sure of the legalities of what’s going on here.  I guess all the e-mails Sarah Palin sent and received while she was governor are public property because she was a public official, or maybe they’re just being released because of all the shenanigans – the firing of trooper Wooten, the

They just don't make crooked politicians like they used to

padded expense accounts, stuff like that – but either way, thousands and thousands of e-mails, more than 20,000 pages worth, have been released.  (some haven’t yet).

Will they prove anything?  Sarah Palin says no, and probably the vast majority are pretty innocent.  The one’s I’ve seen over at Huffpo don’t really show anything we didn’t suspect already.  A few spelling errors (canerie instead of cannery) but, really, that can happen to anybody.  Todd tried to hit up the Republican Governor’s Association for free basketball tickets but there’s probably nothing illegal about that.  Hey, it never hurts to ask.  Some are a bit Jesusy, quite a few are self-serving, but the 1st is no surprise from Sarah and the 2nd is no surprise from any politician.

We will see, but I’m not holding my breath.  I think that, as with the documents released by Bradley Manning to Wikileaks, the real thing that the government wants to hide is not any specific crime or any specific policy.  It’s just that politicians, like everybody else, are e-mailing constantly, and lots of the e-mails are really, really mundane.  They talk about travel arrangements, lunch appointments and hairstyles.  They wish each other happy birthday and ask about each others’ children without a great deal of sincerity.  They don’t have any special economic or legal expertise, they don’t speak in a secret language.  In fact, they are not terribly different from the average voter, they are completely dispensable, and they are terrified that the public will find that out.

The fact that so many politicians are getting into trouble over things they’ve said in e-mails, on twitter and stuff like that is an interesting phenomenon, though.  I’ve got no sympathy for them.  Everybody else has to be careful what they say online, they should have to, too.

It’s not really a new thing.  Earl Long, who became governor of Louisiana in 1939, said “Don’t write anything you can phone. Don’t phone anything you can talk. Don’t talk anything you can whisper. Don’t whisper anything you can smile. Don’t smile anything you can nod. Don’t nod anything you can wink.”

It’s not that the new media is presenting modern pols with insurmountable obstacles.  It’s just that they aren’t as smart as old Earl.

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June 6, 2011 · 8:34 pm

The Midnight Ride of Caribou Barbie

Sarah Palin’s comments after visiting the Old North Church in Boston, which has an important place in American history, were a new landmark in political idiocy.  It’s not just that she made a couple of mistakes in describing the midnight ride of Paul Revere.  Everybody does that.  We only

Listen, my children, you'll hear, of course, that Sarah is dumber than Paul Revere's horse

know about Paul Revere at all from the poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (the guy my elementary school- in 3rd and 4th grade – was named after), and Longfellow was much more interested in a good story and tight rhymes than historical accuracy.

In rhyme and in meter, old Henry found flaws

with the midnight ride of William Dawes

It’s the fact that she obviously had no fucking idea what she was talking about.  It was similar to the contestant in the Miss South Carolina pageant who went on and on about Americans not having enough maps and South Africa and Iraq and whatnot, just stringing words together and hoping nobody was listening.  “Just riding his horse through town, ringing bells and warning the British that we were going to be free,” Sarah said.

First, he was probably pretty darned quiet until he was well clear of  Boston.  As Longfellow said “…ready to ride and spread the alarm, to every Middlesex village and farm.”  (Back in elementary school, I always got a big chuckle out of a county named “Middlesex.”)

I suspect that Sarah Palin was confusing Paul Revere with Wee Willie Winkie, as in “Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town, upstairs and downstairs, in his nightgown.”  I can’t remember the rest of it.

The part most people seem to be bothered about was that “warning the British” line.  She has since defended that by saying “Well, the colonists were British, too.”  True, that, but it’s clearly not what she meant.  So, because part of what she said might be technically, even though accidentally, correct, she thinks she gets a point.  Sorry, Sarah.  Outside of your dedicated followers, who are just as stupid as you are, nobody else grades that way.

She also has said, as she often does, that it was a “gotcha” question.  The question was  “What have you seen so far today and what are you going to take away from your visit?”

Doesn’t sound like a gotcha question to me.

Up to that point, it’s just funny.  What happened next is weird and scary.  Sarah’s supporters tried to rewrite Paul Revere’s Wikipedia page so it would match what she had said!  That is seriously, seriously, fucked up.

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