First, a couple of disclaimers. I am not a Christian. Also, I do not follow American football closely. I’ve lived abroad for 14 years. I like the game, but it’s not something I’ve missed. I notice when the Super Bowl comes around, and who wins – some years. But you can’t pick up a
Look! Up in the sky!
newspaper without reading about this Tim Tebow guy.
Now, Tim Tebow is the quarterback for the Denver Broncos and everybody says he’s a pretty good one. The thing that’s got everybody a bit weirded out is his vocal, up front, jesus freaky brand of Christianity. He prays as he plays. He thanks the Lord for every first down. That kind of thing. I’ve never actually watched him.
More power to him, if that’s as far as it goes. If I were a believer myself, I could see no more appropriate time for prayer than when you’re standing right smack dab in the middle of a stadium filled with screaming fans and facing, only inches away, approximately a ton (seriously, I did the math) of extremely motivated, armor clad men whose sole intent is to hurl you swiftly and savagely to the ground. And they would not object at all if you wound up in the hospital. For a while. I understand where you’re coming from, Tim. Pray away.
But this last game against Pittsburgh things got weird. (Denver won – Tebow was great). First, he passed for 316 yards. Like I said, I don’t follow football so I don’t know if that’s a lot or a little, but it was obviously enough. The important thing is the 316. John 3:16 is a Bible verse much loved by, especially, the preachier kind of Christians. Tebow has been known to etch 3:16 into that under-the-eye black greasegoop that they wear. What’s that all about, anyway?
316. It’s a pretty amazing coincidence, like the fact that Abraham Lincoln, elected in 1860, had a personal secretary named Mary Kennedy. John Kennedy, elected in 1960, had a personal secretary named Evelyn Lincoln. (Don’t ask me if she was one of those giving him under the desk blowjobs – I wasn’t there) Lincoln was assassinated in Ford’s theater. Kennedy was assassinated in a Ford Lincoln. Coincidences.
The other weird bit, though, was the halo appearing in the sky after one of Denver’s field goals. You can see the picture here. It was probably the smoke ring from celebratory cannon fire, but I haven’t seen Denver Broncos team owners or stadium management rushing to dispel the rumors that God really does like the Denver Broncos.
I wonder if they aren’t trying to trade on Tebow’s popularity to brand themselves as the NFL’s most Christian team?
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