The rootin’-tootin’ Governor of the god forsaken state of Texas, Governor Prettyhair, Rick “Pray for rain” Perry, has announced he will not run for re-election in 2014.
I am cautiously thrilled by this news. I say cautiously, because politicians come back more often than the living dead and unless they are either dead or in jail, they are probably plotting their comeback, and even jail is not a 100% deterrent.
Rick Perry fondles a bottle of Maple Syrup during the New Hampshire debate
Terry Sanford is back from the Appalachian trail and he now has the hottest Argentinian girlfriend of any U.S. Senator. Anthony Weiner is braving the shitstorm of inevitable weiner jokes to try and get back into office, and slimy hypocrite Eliot Spitzer is running for some minor office but, to really make that race comical, his madame is running against because she’s all kinds of pissed off that she went to jail and he didn’t.
The point is, politicians make comebacks today. All the time. So, is the world’s #1 fan of maple syrup planning to make a comeback? That would mean that he realized he’s likely to get an ass-whooping in 2014 and wants to just bide his time, out of office for a couple of years while everybody will forget what a moron he is, and run again for president in 2016. It just might work because Americans have very short memories and, admittedly, it’s what Hillary’s doing.
The difference is that Hillary is not a braying jackass, and actually has a shot at the presidency.
Or, did he realize he was going to get an ass whooping and decide that perhaps this would be a good time to bow out of politics with his head held high – unindicted, unimpeached.
Either way, it seems like he looked at the recent Austin Women’s Uprising and trembled in fear. Good.
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