Republicans, who always need to have something to bitch about, are up in arms about Barack Obama’s appearance on the Jimmy Fallon show, where he “slow jammed” a speech about keeping the price of a college education within an affordable range.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Preezy of the United Steezy
Now, I’m pretty sure I’d never heard the term “slow jam” before this incident, but it’s pretty straightforward. He talked a bit about the high cost of student loans, and how important education is, and how making it harder for American kids to go to university is not a good long term strategy, but he did it in a melodic, rhythmical way and he kept in synch with the band and with Jimmy Fallon playing counterpoint.
It’s similar to what Shatner does, except Barry does it so much better. I’m not mocking Shatner, I actually enjoy his spoken word presentations, I’m just saying Barry does it better. Would probably make a better starship captain, too. Closer to Picard than Kirk, and Picard was by far the best Enterprise captain, ever. I know that’s off topic, just thought I’d throw it in there.
Anyway, the Reptilian Americans are all bent out of shape about it. Rush “loves his cigar a bit too much in a creepily suggestive way” Limbaugh says that he is demeaning the office of the presidency. It’s almost as if he’d gone on Letterman to deliver the Top 10 List or something like that. John Boehner says that he is campaigning by going on TV, appealing to friendly audiences, being cool, as if there was something wrong with that.
Tough luck, Rush. Tough luck, John. This is the way to connect with a crowd. If Romney wants to stay in the race, he’s going to have to try and be cool, too, or at least not hideous.
Here is my prediction, and I am not pleased to be making it. Sometime in the next couple of months, Mitt Romney will go on one of the late night shows (probably Leno) and try to do the same thing, figuring he’ll get points just for trying, just for going through the motions, and the band will make him sound good.
It will be a cringeworthy moment of national awkwardness. Because it’s really not as easy as Barack Obama made it look. There’s the issue of timing. There’s the issue of poise. There’s the issue of voice modulation. There’s the issue of finding the right balance between teamwork and spontaneity.
Mitt doesn’t have any of that. What’s worse, Mitt doesn’t seem to know that he doesn’t have any of that. You can’t fake charisma.
For your own sake, Mitt Romney, and for America’s – don’t try to slow jam!
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