The World Does Not Need Bill O’Reilly

I’ve never liked Bill O’Reilly much.  Of course, there’s nothing criminal about not knowing the difference between a felafel and a loofah, they’re both things that lots of people go through their whole lives without knowing what they are, and many other people know what they are without knowing what they’re called, referring to them as “that vegetarian thing with the balls inside pita bread” and “that long, scrubby thing you have in the shower” respectively.

Trying to pick up a girl by saying you want to stick a felafel up her hooha pretty much labels you as the worst pickup artist of all time but he paid the girl a lot of money not to charge him with sexual harassment and she accepted the payment, so that’s water under the bridge.

There was the lying about some journalism awards he said he’d received when he actually hadn’t but, eh, whatever.

There was the whole totally made up “War on Christmas” thing which  Bill O’Reilly started, and that did (and does) irritate me seriously because he injected actual animosity into what was previously just an over commercialized, slightly  obnoxious holiday.  Probably made Sascha Baron Cohen jealous as fuck, though.

There was the  “tide goes in, tide goes out, can’t explain that” statement, but that wasn’t so much of a lie as just garden variety jaw-dropping stupidity, since scientists have been able to explain the tides fairly well from around about the late 17th century.

But then he came out and made some self-righteous speech condemning Brian Williams  for saying the helicopter he was in came under enemy fire, when actually it was the helicopter ahead of him.  The press has to have integrity, O’Reilly said.  How can the public ever trust a reporter after a lie like that.

Well, it turns out O’Reilly told a lie that was a lot worse, claiming he reported from the Falkland Islands (or las Islas Malvinas, come te quieres) when, in actuality, he was reporting from Buenos Aires which, no matter what Bill O’Reilly says, was not part of the war zone and didn’t put him in any immediate danger.

His credibility is shot.  He should step down.  News reporters are not irreplaceable.  They are a dime a dozen.  Every local TV station has an anchorman who would be happy to take O’Reilly’s place.  For less money.  And with less attitude.