Smile, God Damn It
First, let me just point out that I have lived in the Czech Republic for 11 years and I am very happy here. My wife is Czech, my kids are Czech, I am surrounded by Czechs. They are a people with many fine qualities.
Many of them are very intelligent and creative. Karel and Josef Capek, Bohumil Hrabal, Milan Kundera, Antonin Dvorak, Milos Forman.
They are superb athletes. Considering a total population of only about 10 million, they are way overrepresented on the world stage in tennis, the decathlon and all winter sports. They are, I don’t think too many people would argue with me, a good looking people. Especially the women. I’m not too sure how that works out, but it’s true.
They are a very family oriented people, and are kind to small children, dogs and the elderly. They are big nature lovers.
But they don’t smile. When you get on the Metro, or the tram, you see rows of faces locked into an impassive, or even bitter, pose. If you smile too broadly, they will look at you suspiciously. I have been shooshed for whistling on the metro.
A friend of mine, last week, was furious. He had just walked, with two little puppies on their way to the vet to get their 1st shots. It was a distance of about 10 blocks, along well traveled sidewalks. Nobody smiled.
“What kind of fucking shit people don’t smile at puppies!?,” he was saying for the next 24 hours to anybody who would listen. I had to agreee with him. I have seen Czechs not smiling while at amusement parks, concerts, even circuses.
Last weekend, I went with my family to Harrachov, a Czech ski resort in the northwestern part of the country. Saturday evening I went out for a walk to smoke a quiet joint (we had a non-smoking cottage) and I found myself walking past a large window of a hotel dining room. I looked in and saw large groups of people, laughing and smiling. At first, I thought “Aha! Here are the happy Czechs, invigorated by the fresh air and exercise, enjoying some good food and wine and good conversation with friends, with smiles all around.”
Then I realized they were probably Germans.
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