The Eye of the Tiger
The Tiger is back!
He will be playing at the upcoming Masters Tournament in Augusta, Georgia and I hope he wins. I hope he totally kicks ass.
I was never particularly a fan of Tiger Woods before the whole sex scandal. In fact, I’m not a big fan of golf. I’m not even a big sports fan, but golf is especially boring. Watching a bunch of men walking around on grassy hillsides, occasionally hitting a ball with a club, and watching and waiting to see if that ball goes into a hole strikes me as a tedious and unpleasant way to pass the time. There are few sports that seem more pointless to me. (Formula One is more boring. A bunch of cars driving round and round. I could get just as excited by going out and standing next to the freeway.)
My wife tried to convince me to play once. I guess she thinks it’s an upwardly mobile type of sport and she’d like to learn it herself. It was when we were visiting my brother in Los Angeles and so she had allies. My brother-in-law Gerald, who was a big golf enthusiast before he passed away, and my brother Ben (not the one who lives in L.A., but he was there).
So, we played 9 holes and I wasn’t very good, which didn’t surprise me as I am not a great athlete. They all said “Eh, not so bad for a 1st try” but I knew there would never be a 2nd try.
Oh, I guess I should never say never. If I needed to play golf in order to secure some huge business deal, or if it was a choice between playing golf and going to prison, I suppose I would play. Mostly, though, it seems like a pleasant walk ruined. Which is sort of the same way I feel about fishing. You want to go fishing? Fine, I’ll bring along a book, some sandwiches and something to drink and everybody will be happy.
Anyway, if Tiger feels his reputation was damaged by the whole sex scandal thingie, he is badly mistaken. I was never impressed with his golf game. But when I look at the pictures of Jamie Jungers, Holly Sampson and all the others, my admiration for the man soars. Not just because he has greater stamina than is actually required for the game of golf, but because (unlike Bill Clinton or Hugh Grant) all of Tiger’s women (including his wife) are smoking hot.
The man is a winner, through and through.
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