September 13th, 2010

Newt Goes Nuts

Newt Gingrich, who was a political powerhouse in the mid 90s, and would like to be one again, has made the following statement:

“What if [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]?  That is the most accurate, predictive model for his behavior.”

This is such a bizarre statement, on so many levels, I barely know where to begin.

Maybe, Newt, an accurate, predictive model for his behavior would be listening to what he says.  You won’t always agree with it ( well, O.K., you’ll never agree with it) but, so far, it’s been a real good indicator of what he intends to do.

Then, there’s the Kenya jab.  Listen up, Republican dipshit:  we know that he’s black.  We know that his father is from Kenya.  We knew that when we voted for him.  He wrote about it in a book.

We also know that all the birth certificate nonsense, which you’re hinting at here, is nonsense.  Like, crop circle level of nonsense.  The complaints about Michelle’s Spanish vacation, the feet on the desk photos, the use of big words like “unprecedented,” Barry’s use of teleprompters, his affinity for Dijon mustard and his awareness of a vegetable called arugula, have all proved to be much ado about nothing.  So, really, come up with something of substance or shut up, already.

But the thing that really bothers me is the implication that “anti-colonialist” would be a bad thing.  Newt is speaking for the same people who like to dress up in tri-corner hats, carry around “Don’t Tread on Me” flags and talk about the Boston Tea Party a lot.  Yet, when push comes to shove, they are for colonialism and against rebellion.  In much the same way, when you break down their arguments about global warming, you realize they are also pro-pollution.  They are consistently pro-war (it’s predictable behavior -pay attention- next time there is even the possibility of a war somewhere, they’ll be all for it)  As far as taxes, it’s also becoming clearer and clearer – they don’t think rich people should pay any.

It doesn’t matter.  They aren’t too worried about consistency or logic.  A week from now (and this is also predictable behavior) they will be absolutely furious over some new thing that is completely made up and irrelevant – and it will be Obama’s fault.