How Zoos Could Be Much Cooler

I like going to the zoo and as far as zoos go, Prague’s is not bad.  Could be better, though.  They all could.  One thing about Prague Zoo, which is both good and bad, is the super abundance of children’s playgrounds and restaurants.  The kids are happy, but I always wonder why we paid admission to the zoo when we could have just taken them to a playground and then bought them a hot dog.

But you always see some animals and there’s always one that stands out somehow.  The last time we saw a fight between two mountain goats, heads down and seriously butting horns as their hooves grappled for footing on the treacherous rocky slope.  I thought one of them was going to get seriously hurt but it was awesome to watch.  Then there was the time that we saw two giant tortoises fucking.  They are big, and slow, and greatly resemble rocks, so it really wasn’t anything erotic to see-in fact, it looked like one rock was lying at an angle on another rock.  But oh, what a sound.  We couldn’t tell if it was coming from the male or the female and whether it was a cry of pain, rage or pure, holy sexual satisfaction but I’m guessing the latter.  It sounded downright human, but louder.

Anyway, the joy of seeing animals is always tainted, a bit, by the knowledge that these animals are not free and, in the cases of animals with some degree of consciousness, probably aware of that fact.  I don’t think it matters too much to the reptiles, they have a reptile brain and as long as they are fed are probably not too bothered about the fact that they are in a glass cage.  The penguins and the otters at Prague Zoo have pretty nice habitats and seem to be enjoying themselves, as do the aforementioned mountain goats.

However, the elephants and big cats drew the shitty end of the stick and it’s just depressing to me to see those magnificent creatures pacing morosely on a concrete slab.

The solution:  Like in Jerry McGuire, they’ve got to focus more on the well being of fewer clients.  Lose the elephants and give more space to the cats or lose the cats and give more space to the elephants.  It would make the animals happier and it would make the people happier to see happier animals.  Happy, happy, happy.
Also, no zoo that’s more than just slightly removed from the arctic should have a polar bear.  That’s just not right.

Animals Need a Bit of Space