Jokes for Jesus

There’s no such thing as leprechauns, fairies, elves or trolls

there is no jolly fat man living at the northern pole

there are no ghosts or zombies in the graveyard late at night

No dragons, ogres, witches, wizards, watermen or sprites

There are no werewolves in the woods, no mermaids in the sea

on these points, I think you’ll find, most modern folks agree

We don’t believe in fairy tales, so why should it seem odd

to say there are no angels, devils, heaven, hell or God?

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

An archaeologist named Simcha Jacobovici, who likes making documentary films about Jesus, has dug up a couple of nails that he claims are the actual nails used in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  Naturally, over at Huffpo, all of us liberal types were having a good old time mocking the claim.  No proof that Jesus even existed, the nails didn’t look that old, they also looked a bit small, not likely able to hold a man’s weight, and  even if they could prove that they were used in a crucifixion that doesn’t prove the point because the Romans liked capital punishment even more than Rick Perry and lethal injection hadn’t been invented yet.  Crucified people alongside Roman roads were the billboards of antiquity.

Then some Christian killjoy writes in and says “Have a little respect, people.”  Well, you know what?  No.

I admit I’m one of those people that used to have a whole library full of racist, sexist and homophobic jokes, which I used to excuse by saying “It’s only a joke.”  I’ve scrubbed most of them from my repertoire, because times have changed and I really don’t want to offend people, but religion’s a different matter.

It’s a belief, it’s an opinion and so if you believe in it it’s because you choose to believe in it.   If you can’t deal with the mockery, pick a different belief system.

Also, that’s what the internet is for.  Get it all out there.  I am a big believer in the internet as a total free speech zone.  Otherwise, I’d probably start swearing at those people who are always standing by the exit from the Metro at Jiřiho z  Poděbrad selling The Watchtower, and I’m sure most of them are basically nice people.  Idiots, but nice people.

Most importantly, though, Christians deserve to be mocked because they take themselves so damned seriously.  (Islam deserves mockery as well, but that’s not the cultural milieu in which I live and write).   Seriously, there are people among them who take the story of Noah’s Ark literally, and they think we’re not going to make fun of them?