Rick Perry, Vessel of God

This is almost too weird to be believed.  Republican Governor Rick “even Ronald Reagan didn’t have hair this good” Perry of the Lone Star State of Texas is being supported by a group who call themselves The New Apostolic Reformation, and they are big believers in getting ready for the

Governor Goodhair

end times, which makes them fanatically pro-Israeli, which has always seemed a little creepy to me, that whole Jewish – Christian nutcase affinity, but there’s more than that.  Way more.  They have rituals involving branding irons and plumb lines in which they drive a metal stake into the Earth in every Texas county.  I hope they only did that once.  They believe their prayers ended mad cow disease and that the Democratic party is controlled by Jezebel and 3 lesser demons.  They believe that it is their Christian duty to take over the United States government, and dominate all aspects of society.

And Rick Perry is their man.  This is not a conspiracy theory.  This is out of their own mouths.  Per the Texas Observer:

At the end of their meeting, Perry asked the two pastors (Schleuter and Long) to pray over him. As the pastors would later recount, the Lord spoke prophetically as Schlueter laid his hands on Perry, their heads bowed before a painting of the Battle of the Alamo. Schlueter “declared over [Perry] that there was a leadership role beyond Texas and that Texas had a role beyond what people understand,” Long later told his congregation.

Ladies and gentlemen, the race for the Republican party’s presidential nomination has just gotten crazier still.