This last week, Texas Governor Richard Perry, the crazy, gun-lovin, Christian Dominionist, talks to Jesus candidate for the Reeeepublican nomination for presidency of the United States of America, made a speech up in Vermont, the Granite State, which has got people talking.
Like a Kid in a Candy Store
It wasn’t so much what Governor Goodhair had to say – he talked about his postage card tax program, which is about as closely connected to economic reality as Herman Cain’s 999 plan, how happy he was to be in Vermont, how much people in Texas like saying pointlessly macho stuff (Bring it, heh, heh) and a couple of other things.
It was the way that he said it. Republican spin doctor’s are saying that he was “full of enthusiasm” and “the people who were there loved it. They felt he hit it out of the park.”
Most people who watched the speech, or have seen the short clip attached here, think he was drunk, or perhaps on some medication. First of all, let me just say right here that I think politicians, like everybody else, have a perfect right to get blotto drunk and say stupid shit now and again. As long as they own up to it.
Maybe he wasn’t drunk or fucked up on downers, even though he looked it. His delivery had a bit of that Charlie Sheen madness to it, as spoken by a 14 year old girl after her first Long Island Iced Tea. But he didn’t puke or fall down and, to that 28% of Americans who are chronically cognitively challenged, he did hit it out of the park.
Here’s my theory: Perry was deliberately introducing a new persona, as a desperate political move – that just might pay off. He was sinking fast, falling behind Herman Cain both in the polls and in the who-can-say-stupider-shit sweepstakes.
So, he decided to reinvent himself, knowing perfectly well that the demographic he is aiming at have the political attention spans of goldfish, and some of them might say, “Hey, I like this new Perry guy. He’s different.” Cowboy Rick wasn’t working, so he decided to go with DJ Rick.
The next few days will tell. If he continues to talk like he did in New Hampshire it is either a brilliant political strategem or outrageously egregious false political advertising. If he goes back to talking the way he usually talks, then he was probably just drunk.
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The Republican candidates are a parade of self-absorbed fools like never before, it is just so obvious now.
I watched it, no sound, and he looked “happy.” Probably booze. Was he slurring?
You could be right – he could be doing this deliberately – but I think that would require a level of abstract thinking beyond his ability.