White Powder

I must confess, when I saw the headline about one of the Trump boys (I don’t even try to  differentiate between Eric and Donald, they are both animal murdering assholes) wife’s opening a letter containing ‘white powder’ I opened it thinking it was an Andy Borowitz piece, and was going to be something about cocaine, and then when I realized it was serious, I still thought it might be something about cocaine, but, no, cornstarch.  No real story there, except that she was ‘rushed to the hospital.’  Seriously, she opens an envelope, it’s got some unidentified powder in it, she immediately calls 9/11 and they rush her to hospital, like being in the same room with an envelope full  of powder is dangerous.  Admittedly, it might have been some kind of toxic nerve gas, in which case she might have been dead by the time paramedics arrive, or it could have contained some kind of virus, which happens a lot in movies.
So, actually, I can’t say  that I blame her, they are, after all, among the most hated people (deservedly so) in the world.

But, I think I would have handled it differently.  “Hey, somebody sent me an  envelope full  of white powder.”  “Is it cocaine?”  “It’s a whole  damned envelope full.  Somebody would really have to love me.” “Nobody loves you that much.  It’s probably cornstarch.”  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”  And I would have put it up in the cupboard with all the other bottles, envelopes and packets filled with stuff I  don’t know what it is and probably will  never use.

And there it would stay.