I just saw a headline that made me laugh. It said “Jane Fonda, 76, Looks Better Than Angelina Jolie in Dress.” That may be true, but I’ll bet Angelina looks better out of a dress. But that’s not tonight’s topic.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, especially if it happens in an elevator and there’s no audio to accompany the security camera footage. The incident of Beyonce’s sister, Solange Knowles, going apeshit all over Beyonce’s husband, Jay Z, will remain unexplained. They have issued a joint statement, (or a group statement. Can you say joint if it’s 3 people? I don’t know.) which totally failed to satisfy those inquiring minds that want to know. It was just full of diplomatic language and gobbledy-gook like “both of them have admitted their share of responsibility in the incident,” which makes me think Jay Z must have said or done something seriously offensive prior to boarding that elevator, because from what I saw on the video, the responsibility was all on Solange. This was not a quick slap across the face. This was a class A ass whoopin’.
The statement also said “we are ready to move on as a family.” This says two things (in addition to saying they are ready to move on as a family. It says that however much Jay Z might piss Solange off, Solange knows which side her bread is buttered on, and she’s prepared to calm down rather than get cut off and, 2) it says they’re not saying any more.
So, the great elevator brawl, which was the best fight in Vegas since Mike Tyson bit off Evander Holyfield’s ear back in 1997, joins MH370, 9/11, the Kennedy Assassination, Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, the Marie Celeste and the gunpowder plot (I think Guy Fawkes was set up. Think about it: King James had enough power to pull it off and cover it up, because this was back in the day when the king could have journalists hung, drawn and quartered, if journalists had even been invented yet, and he had two powerful motives: increase publicity for the sale of his stupid bibles, and a desire to crack down on the Catholics, or maybe it was the Protestants. The gunpowder plot was a false flag that gave him the excuse, one way or the other.)
My guess is that Jay Z tried to come onto her, and she wasn’t having it. But that’s just a wild guess.
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