With all of the immediate horror in the world, in Gaza, in Syria and Iraq, in Ukraine, and let’s not forget the kidnapped Nigerian school girls, it is easy to think of the unexplained holes that are turning Siberia into the world’s largest swiss cheese as a bit of comic relief.
Big mistake. If the currently popular theory – exploding methane – turns out to be correct, this could be a huge problem, something with the potential to destroy all oxygen breathing life on Earth.
The idea is that the holes are caused as the melting of the permafrost (due to global warming) releases methane gas which has been trapped for centuries in rotting vegetable matter, like some ancient monster. The gas explodes, leaving the hole.
Two big problems: if this is true, then these three holes are the first of thousand, maybe millions, which will soon appear all over Siberia, and Alaska, and Canada, and Greenland, and Lapland, and maybe Antarctica, too. Secondly, a whole shit ton (actually, several million shit tons) of methane will be added to the atmosphere, thus accelerating global warming but it won’t matter because we’ll just gag and die from the gas long before that.
This is a way bigger problem than cow farts.
So, we’d better start figuring out what to do about it soon and it’s never to early to speculate, that’s my motto. Here’s my suggestion and, if my understanding of the science of it all is way off, feel free to let me know.
We need to cleanse the air of the methane gas (a carbon product), so what we need are plants, all around the holes, to absorb that shit and turn it into good old oxygen. Of course, all of these holes are above the tree line but, the whole problem is that things are melting, so maybe that tree line needs adjusting, too. If they require a little bit of extra attention to make them grow, so be it.
If tress grow too slow, perhaps hemp could be tried. It has many fine uses and is a tough, resilient, fast growing plant.
Two birds with one stone.
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