Dear Democratic Superdelegates

I know most of you pledged loyalty to Hillary Clinton way back before all this began, but that was a long time ago and a lot has changed since then.

We’ve got the miracle story

First off, the way she probably bribed you, with money for your own campaigns, or the threat to withdraw those funds, well,  we now know that that’s DNC money which you were supposed to get a share of anyway and instead, she’s using 99% of it for her own campaign.  If  I were you, I’d  be pissed.

Second, you  probably figured she’d  have it wrapped up and  you wouldn’t even be needed  for anything.  Well, surprise.  It’s decision  time and you have to really think about this, like the jury in 12 Angry  Men.  The future of the world depends on you.

Third, the phenomenon of  Donald Trump.  I’m sure you  thought he was a joke  at first.  We all  did.  But it’s not funny any  more.  If  the rumors are true that the Clinton’s encouraged him to run, thinking he’s be a patsy for Hillary, they may have  made the  most serious miscalculation since Hillary voted for the Iraq War.  It’s a hell of a risk to take.

Fourth, the  insane popularity  of Bernie  Sanders.  Despite a press blackout that has become comical (even last night’s win in Indiana was not the  headline this morning), not having  any super pacs, low name recognition, the short debate schedule  and  other things  which showed  clear DNC bias, being 74 years old and a socialist,  he’s still kicking her  ass.  “But  she’s winning,” you say. More  on that  in a bit but, in short, she’s not.

Fifth, the incredible suckage of Hillary as a candidate.  She doesn’t hold  rallies, she holds fundraisers.  Part  of the  reason is because she can never get enough money, and part of it is she can’t draw  a big crowd. She is whatever the opposite of charismatic is.
She makes unforced errors.  She told  a girl from Black Lives Matter to shut up, she made that  incredibly  stupid and  racist joke with Bill de Blasio and then threw him under  the bus over it, and said  she  was sick and tired of  Bernie Sanders lying  about her record despite  the fact that a) she  wasn’t talking to Bernie Sanders and b)what the lady from Greenpeace said wasn’t a lie and c) Bernie  hasn’t lied  about her environmental record, either  and d) her  environmental  record sucks.

Sixth, although we sometimes find it hard  to convince the Hillbots on facebook (some of whom are just paid trolls – you know that, right?) that this election is rigged, you people have a bit of political experience, you’ve been  around the block a few times, and I’m sure you know  without a doubt, every single one of you, that this election is rigged.  You know  about fixed  voting  machines.  You know about  voter suppression.  You know about push polling.  You know damned well that  when there’s a huge discrepancy between  the exit polls and the official results, it’s because  the official results are crooked.  That’s why I say he’s kicking her ass.  Without her  cheating, Sanders would have won Illinois, Massachusetts, Arizona, New York and Delaware.  AND YOU KNOW IT.

I hope you think long and hard about these points.  You have a little under three months.