A New Use For Robots

Japanese scientists, if this is even done by scientists any more, or perhaps I should say engineers, or inventors, or maybe they are toy designers, have designed a robot dog which is capable of detecting foot odor at which point it rolls over and plays dead.

Shuntaro, the Foot Smelling Dog

Really, the technology is not that amazing anymore.  Sure, it’s a lot more sophisticated than Betsy Wetsy, or any doll with a few pre-recorded messages, and more useful (although this is debatable) than a Tickle-Me-Elmo, but basically it’s a “nose,” an odor senser, something that can detect those little smellacules, or whatever, and beyond that  it’s a dog doll that can roll over.  In view of the sex dolls that they have nowadays, and computer programs that can win all the game shows, it’s small potatoes.

But the implications are huge.  Robots were originally envisioned (R.U.R. by Karel Capek*, 1920) as drone laborers, machines to do the heavy lifting and the tedious tasks (hence the name – robota means work, but of a particularly tedious and unrewarding kind, the daily grind.)  Those exist now, here and there, and there will be more of them.  Lately, they have been promoted for companionship  which, outside of the kinky sex toy market, I really don’t think they’ll be very good at.  But this is something new.

Robots who will tell you what nobody else will tell you.  If they can tell you when you feet stink, they can tell you when your breath stinks or when your apartment stinks.  They will soon be able to taste your food and tell you, before you even take a bite, if the steak is cooked enough (or too much, you’ll be able to program in your personal tastes), if all the vegetables are fresh, and so on.  They will be able to look at you, compare you with a database of millions of current photos and tell you whether what you are wearing is trendy or dorky or downright indecent, whether or not you need to apply any cosmetics.

They will tell you when you’ve had too much to drink,  whether or not you should lower your voice, and a host of other things your friends won’t tell you because they don’t want to piss  you off.  They will be like a mother or a wife but without the emotional hangups.

Just the truth.  They say the truth will set you free, but I can see this going the opposite direction, too.

*sorry, Czech people.  I don’t know how to put a haček over a capital letter on my keyboard.