Blame it on the Buffet

A Las Vegas casino buffet is a beautiful thing. Even the mediocre ones have enough of a variety of food that pretty much anybody can pig out on several things which aren’t a part of their normal diet.

Nothing Left to Live For

Nothing Left to Live For

You can, if you are greedy, starve yourself for half a day before going and then take your time while you are there, pigging out for 3 or 4 hours, although they do sort of frown on people who try to stretch it over more than one meal period. “Sure,” they think, as they send evil thoughts your way, giving you voodoo indigestion, “you’ve paid for it, you’re legally entitled, but you’re still a fucking pig.” They will call you Mr. Creosote behind your back.
So, when John Noble, who looks like a man who enjoyed a ridiculously large meal when he could get it, won free meals for life for him and a guest at the M resort buffet in Las Vegas, he was pretty darned pleased with himself. He would bring his mother in every day for a meal, and got to be so he was on a first name basis with all of the waitresses (who are often just cashiers. It’s a buffet, you go get your own food. Much more efficient than waiting for a waitress, who doesn’t share your ravenous hunger or your insatiable greed.) He would bring them gifts – often something he’d got for free in some other resort promotion.
They thought he was kind of creepy because, in fact, he was. Not necessarily evil. He never hurt anybody. But definitely creepy.
In 2013 the buffet kicked him out for being too stalkery.
On Sunday, he walked in, pulled out a gun, and shot himself dead.
He left a 270 page suicide note, talking about how evil the hotel was.
Actually, I think the hotel screwed up. Don’t offer something for life unless you’re really prepared to give it for life. I can see how maybe the hotel would have trumped up the stalking charges just to shed him as an unwanted and unprofitable customer. I don’t think that’s what happened, but I do think it’s a possibility nobody’s talking about.


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