The Second Coming of Michele Bachmann

Old crazy eyes, Michele Bachmann, is back in the news.  She doesn’t hold any political office, she is no longer influential in  any way, but she  sure is quotable and that’s enough to keep her in the newspapers.

Michele Bachmann

Michele Bachmann

She thinks it’s time to get busy converting all the Jews because Jesus is coming soon.  Now, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt here and say that she’s just crazy and not actually malicious.  I’m sure she sincerely believes that converting all the Jews to Christianity would be doing the Jews a favor, even though Jewish people are unlikely to see things the same way.  Somewhat analogous to her husband’s totally fraudulent conversion therapy, except that Judaism actually is a choice – well, sort of, then you get into the whole race v. religion question, descendants of Abraham, and…well, it’s complicated.

But, then, there’s the whole “Jesus is coming soon” business.  Jesus, according to Bachmann’s bible thumping brethren down the ages, has been coming soon for a long time, at least as long as I’ve been alive and I’m sure a hell of a lot longer.  Probably the first obnoxious, sign bearing psycho to make that prediction popped up within weeks of the crucifixion.

He didn’t show up for the black death or the Spanish  Inquisition.  He ignored the slaughter of the American  Indians, the total genocide of the Tasmanians, the slave trade, lynchings, the flu epidemic of 1919, the holocaust, Cambodia and Rwanda.  So, why should he  show up now?

Or perhaps it’s because of our debauched lifestyle, all the fornicating and drug taking and cussing in rock songs and twerking and stuff.  I’m also kind of skeptical about that because people have been fornicating and taking drugs and using bad language for a long time, too.

So, bottom line, I’m not holding my breath.

Here’s a wild thought, though.  Maybe she’s angling for the VP nomination on a Carson ticket?  Now, that would be a hoot.


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