On the plus side, no sting
on the down side, no honey
and whoever makes them
will make lots of money
they’ll rent out the robots
charge farmers huge fees
We’ll be better off
if we just keep the bees
In news of the ugly, scientists have invented an artificial bee. It’s a bee sized drone, a little , metal stick, looks like something you’d plug into a USB port, and it can pollinate flowers.
Fantastic, eh? Doesn’t even sting. Doesn’t make honey, though, or even beautiful sculptures of wax. Just pollinates flowers and flies around looking ugly.
On the up side, if honeybees do go extinct, which I’m imagining the manufacturers of this product have got to be rooting for, it will not be the end of the human race. The artificial honeybees will be available, for a price. Ain’t that great?
Of course, it would be easier to ban all pesticides with glyphosate in them and save the honeybees, and better for the environment, and more aesthetically pleasing, and better for the overall economy of the planet, if by economy we mean the system by which we measure society’s collective wealth, and by wealth we mean the means to produce the things we need, such as food, in great abundance, and not just some conniving fuckers making a lot of money by exploiting a problem which they have helped to create, because I may be a loopy conspiracy theorist but I see the long hand of Monsanto behind this. Or somebody very like them.