I certainly hope that his plans for energy independent homes, cheap rooftop solar tiles, and electric cars gain traction and free the world from the grip of the evil oil companies, who would willingly kill us all just to stay rich a little bit longer, but what he did today certainly cements his role as coolest human being alive. Cooler even than Bernie Sanders, and that’s saying a lot. Cooler than Bernie Sanders and Ed Sheeran put together.
He launched a rocket from Cape Canaveral, at less than a tenth the cost of a NASA launch, by the way, which was an amazing success. It was larger than most rockets, so will be able to take larger things into space. That’s why they called it Falcon Heavy. Two of the booster rockets – you know, the ones that always fall away after a launch and burn up on re-entry- landed, unharmed and upright, exactly on the x prepared for them back at Canaveral. (The third one was supposed to land on an aircraft carrier but missed, landing in the ocean. So, it wasn’t perfect.)
But the coolest part of all was what the rocket carried into space: a cherry red, convertible Tesla roadster, with an astronaut (well, a spacesuit) at the wheel. It will do a flyby of Mars and continue out into space forever, at a speed no car on Earth could ever imagine, with David Bowie’s ‘Star Man’ eternally playing on the radio.
Imagine: a few centuries from now, an alien ship is approaching Earth. They see, coming toward them, a bright red convertible. I can’t think of a better introduction.
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