Jeffrey Epstein is Dead

Nobody is mourning him much. He had an enviable life, if not a good one. He got to fly around on his fancy private plane, live in mansions, eat in the best restaurants, and boink lots of super hot teenage girls.
People I know seem to be of two opinions: either he was murdered in his cell (the best comment I’ve seen was “If you’re surprised by Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide, imagine how surprised HE must have been”), or that he was whisked away to a desert island somewhere, to live out the rest of his life in peace and comfort, like a witness protection program for billionaires.
I doubt we will ever know. Of course, authorities could dispel the desert island notion with a thorough autopsy and a DNA comparison with any living relatives, which would be quite different than they did when Obama “killed” “Osama bin Laden” and just threw the body overboard somewhere in the middle of the Indian Ocean, because that’s “Islamic tradition.” But, I’m sure they won’t.

Among those who think he was murdered, some are blaming the Clintons, partly because of the extremely long list of people who have committed suicide or accidentally died or been mysteriously murdered (which murders always went unsolved), and some are pointing out that Trump was also a close friend of Jeffrey Epstein, and thus had motive.
I don’t really care. No Clinton will ever hold office again and we’ve got so many more immediate, more important things to condemn Trump on.
So, let’s have a good laugh, let’s have some fun with conspiracy theories, and then let’s get back to talking about how to save the Earth, close the concentration camps, give everybody health care, and make the world a better place for everybody in it.

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