Normally, I avoid the campaign tactic of making silly puns out of the name of the candidate you don’t like. It’s silly and it can cut both ways. I don’t bother calling Hillary Shillary, and I haven’t even jumped on the Make Donald Drumpf again bandwagon, even though that’s a pretty good one. (People wondered who was going to be the next Jon Stewart. I think Stephen Colbert is growing into that role very nicely.)
Gnorts, Mr. Alien
I’m not perfect, though. I’ve begun referring to Tim Canova, who is challenging Debbie Whatsername Schultz (who I used to refer to as Debbie Unterwasserman Schultz, but I don’t think anybody got the joke) for her seat in congress, as Tim Canova Whoopass.
And I am struck by the case of the Florida gun bunny who was all over the internet talking about her right to keep her young child safe with guns and how he, at age 4, already loved to shoot. The other day, that 4 year old boy found a loaded gun on the back seat of her truck, and shot her in the back while she was driving. Her name is Jamie Gilt. I wonder if she feels gilty about leaving a loaded gun within reach of a child. I wonder if a judge will find her gilty of child endangerment.
But there was another one I saw on facebook today that totally blew my mind, because it’s a name that has been known to everybody in the world since 1969, and the joke has been staring us in the face that whole time, and I’d never even noticed that Neil Armstrong, if you just use his last initial, i.e. Neil A., spelled backwards, is alien. One of my facebook friends, commenting on this bizarre coincidence, took it a step further and pointed out the Neil Arm spelled backwards, is Mr. Alien.
Let’s take this all the way. Neil Armstrong spelled backwards is “Gnorts, Mr. Alien.” Out of the hundreds of billions of stars in our galaxy alone, which probably means trillions of planets and moons, billions of which could hold intelligent life, and in view of the fact that on our tiny little planet there are thousands of different languages, (so we’re back up to trillions again) it is almost inevitable that in one of our galaxy’s languages gnorts means “Greetings, we come in peace.”
And that, undoubtedly, is why Neil Armstrong was chosen.
