I was  called a  ‘court monkey’ today for supporting Jill Stein, which  is an analogy I don’t quite understand.  It’s more the adjective than the noun that I object to.
Monkeys are awesome.  They are clever, they are communal, they are very  human like.  I know we are actually  apes, not  monkeys, but we’re all simians, so what the heck.

I remember in Malaysia I went  to a park  which  was famous for it’s monkeys.  First, I was having lunch at the cafe across from the park, and I was looking to not be sitting nearer to the outdoors.  A man was having a sandwich, put it down for a second, and a monkey swooped in and got it.  That’s pretty good thieving skills, but it’s nothing a gull can’t do, so doesn’t  actually imply intelligence.
Then, as I was going into the park, I noticed a sign: It is strictly forbidden to feed the monkeys inside the park,’ and right below the sign (still just outside the  park, mind you), there was a monkey with a begging look on his face that would make a hound dog proud.  I’m certain he knew what it said on the sign, but I don’t know how.

Then, inside the park, there was a pack of monkeys and an old man, seemingly a  local, who was yelling at them and waving his stick at them.  They retreated, back up a hillside, and  waited for him to leave, I swear I saw them laughing behind his back.

So, I like monkeys.  But  court monkey?  Piss off, dude.



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