Trump and the Bible

O.K., Trump holding up a bible for a photo op, a book he has never read (almost nobody has ever actually READ it, like all the way through, but Trump has probably never even read it in the sense most Christian people say they have read it, which is a bit of sampling here and there, and having bits of it read to them in church) is getting a lot of press, and I’m not sure why.
It’s not the first time he has pandered blatantly to the evangelical community, and it probably won’t be the last. It might be the first time he had to tear gas a crowd of protesters to get to the church and do it, it might be the first time the pastor of that church has denounced him, and objected to their church being used that way, but just holding up a bible and saying ‘vote for me!’ has been a staple of American politics for a very long time.
Why are Americans such a bunch of religious wackadoodles? First, it’s not everybody. It’s approximately 30% of the population. Every poll that touches on the subject: whether on not Noah’s Ark was literal, whether or not evolution is a real thing, will gay marriage bring down God’s wrath on America, there are always between 25 and 35% of American people who choose the crazy answer. And that 25 to 35% of Americans love Donald Trump more than peanut butter.
So, why such a high number in the U.S.? You have your born again Christian types, a little bit, everywhere in the world, but nowhere outside the U.S. does it even come close to 30%
The reason is clear, when you look at history. Despite the great American narrative, that the U.S. is filled with the descendants of noble explorers, heroic individuals who braved the high seas to make a better life for themselves and their families, a whole lot of people didn’t emigrate to America to get to America, but to get the hell out of where they were. Many were fleeing war and oppression, some (naval hero John Paul Jones is a great example) were fleeing the law, and some were flat out deported. Such was the case with the Puritans. We are taught in American schools that they were fleeing religious persecution, but the reality is they kicked them out of England, and they went to Holland, and they kicked them out, too. Because they always wore black, and went around telling everybody they shouldn’t drink, or gamble, or have sex with anybody outside of their boring marriages, and the vast majority of people, even in early 17th century Europe, just weren’t going to put up with that shit.
So, they sent them off to America. Where they have bred like fucking rabbits, because that’s part of their religion, too.
And here we are.

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