I just saw a meme which said “If somebody declines an alcoholic beverage, do not ask them why. Just get them a non-alcoholic beverage,” and I thought ‘well, that’s a load of rubbish.’
Not drinking alcohol is not like some social taboo that people are going to be offended if you ask. It’s as harmless as asking “Do you like bacon?” or “Do you like Coen brothers movies?” Some people do. Some people don’t.
It might be a bit iffy to ask somebody what race they are, if it is not obvious, but I know some people who would and, as long as the question comes out of plain, old fashioned curiosity and no malevolence is involved, they’ll generally get away with it. Not everybody in the world is a crusader for social justice with a blog – most people are just trying to read the room and make friends.
Another big one is asking questions about gender, like ‘which pronoun should I use’ or ‘how do you guys actually do it?’ I recall an incident that happened in a village pub, like a really small village a long way from any major metropolis, and this was in the mid 1980s. Someone pointed out to our group that one of the ladies at the bar was not actually a lady. Myself, I was perfectly willing just to stay away, not ask any questions, because I’m a live and let live kind of guy. My friend Bill, a wildly extroverted aging hippie, went directly up to the person in question and said “Is it true that you’re a bloke?” A bit hesitantly, maybe sensing trouble, she (or he, I would have said then, but apparently the rules have changed) nodded. “Well damn,” Bill said. “You’re better looking than half the sheilas in here!”
What followed was a friendly conversation, which is the main reason pubs exist in the first place.
Some people have less restraint of their tongue than others, but as long as the question is asked in good faith, with no meanness involved, there’s almost nothing you can’t say.
Where to Draw the PC Line
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