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As I have said on many an occasion, I thing the whole “Russia hacked the election” charge is nonsense.  Did Russia  force Donna Brazile to feed  Hillary the debate questions?  Did Russia force Al Franken to betray the voters  of Minnesota?  Did Russia force the DNC to nominate Hillary Clinton?  I don’t think so.  I think  it was Hillary  Clinton who  did that.

Nonetheless, I’ve got no problem with investigating it.  Investigations are great.  Investigations can turn up all sorts of stuff.  Maybe they’ll find a bit of spunk on somebody’s dress.  The investigation should be as thorough as possible and as wide ranging as a 100 year flood.  They should investigate it as much as they’ve investigated marijuana.

But, the Russians are not the only ones Hillary has blamed for her loss.  She’s blamed James Comey and the FBI.  She’s blamed Wikileaks, and Julian Assange.  She’s blamed Sanders supporters, and even Sanders.  She’s blamed the Electoral College.  She’s blamed the Electoral College quite a lot actually.  She’s blamed the media, which is absolutely absurd.  The media did everything they could for her, but when you’re having a fund raiser, and the press is not invited, all  the press can report is “Hillary Clinton was at another fund raiser, at another rich person’s house.”

Now, though, I think she might have crossed the line.  (I mean the line that other people care about.  As far as  I’m concerned, she crossed the line in the latter stages of the 2008 primary campaign, with the “We all know what happened in July of ’68” remark, which the press generously allowed her to walk back, but they shouldn’t have.)  She has blamed the DNC for not supporting her enough.

Lady, that is YOUR DNC you’re talking about.  They’re the ones who gave you the goddamned nomination, in case you’ve forgotten.

It’s not just how pathetic it all is, this constant litany of excuses (she would not  last  10 seconds  in pro sports, that’s for  sure).  It’s the absolutely staggering level of ingratitude.

I was on my way back  into Prague about 10 this morning, and in possession of a completely valid ticket, thank you very much.  It was warm.  To say my  mind was wandering would be disingenuous because it would imply that it is ever not, which is not, in fact, the case.

Anyway, when the conductor came over to check my ticket, I said “Just a moment,” and started to fish my wallet out of my pocket, which was a bit awkward because I can be a bit awkward, and she started in on me, as if I was deliberately stalling, and when she saw I had a ticket she didn’t shut up, like a normal person would have, but I guess (my Czech is far from perfect, I don’t catch every word) she was saying that I should have had it out and ready as soon as she walked into the carriage, and I reacted the way I usually do in those circumstances, by giving her the blankest, most uncomprehending look possible.  She said “You don’t understand me, do you?” and I said “No, I don’t understand.”

Now, here is where Czechs are different from everybody else on the planet.  Pretty  much  any train conductor in any other country on Earth would have realized, from the few words we’d exchanged, that I do speak a little  bit of Czech, because saying “No, I don’t understand” in the language she’s accusing me of not understanding her in is a      de facto admission that I DO know at least a couple of words.  It’s like when somebody asks if you are asleep and you say “yes.”

But, satisfied that  no communication was possible, she punched my ticket and moved on.  Just as well.

Tomorrow night I’m going to an open mike comedy night, largely because I said I would, but also because it’s kind of fun, even though I don’t have  anything prepared.  I feel a bit guilty about that.  I had the whole weekend to come up with something, and today I had the whole afternoon free, but of course I took advantage of that to smoke a joint and, waddya know, no getting anything written.

I’m torn.  Do I try to write something new, do  I go rifling through my old work and dust something off and present that, or maybe I just get up there and wing it.  After all, that’s where the real  skill is – in being funny impromptu, in making a joke out of the moment, the surroundings, the  audience.  Also, people do occasionally find me funny, but not always when I’m intending to be, so I couldwork with that.

It’s the “Gone in 60 Seconds’ comedy event, which happens every month or so, maybe it’s every other month, it’s been a while since I’ve been to one, but it’s at the Tchaiovna where sometimes poetry readings are, and the chess club is there (actually that’s Tuesday night as well – a conflict, or an opportunity?) so I like  the venue and will undoubtedly see many people I know so it will be a good evening no matter what.

The reason I’m trying stand-up comedy – well, one of the reasons – is the same reason that I enjoy karaoke, and participate in poetry open mikes, and teach English.  I get to stand on a stage – doesn’t have to be a literal stage, as long as it’s in front of people and within their focal point, and talk, more or less uninterrupted.  I don’t get that at home.  Even if I’m trying out a new poem and ask Helena to listen to it, she’s telling me after the first couple of lines not to read so fast, or not  to  read so loud, or something.  I guess I  should  take that  as constructive criticasm, or positive feedback, but I don’t.

I’d love to have the  stage for 45 minutes, so I could  talk about all that’s wrong with the world and how  we could  fix it, so it’s probably a good thing that each  act  is limited to 60 seconds.  Which is long enough, if you use it right.

I sometimes take those stupid Facebook personality quizzes ,  although they are  pointless and stupid and meaningless.  I get sucked in by the headline, or maybe I’m just bored and looking to get sucked in by something, so I click, yeah, sure, what country should I be living in? (I got France.  Not bad.  I like France.) and then it’s over and you realize you know nothing more about your true personality  than you did before because, after all, you are you  so how can you expect a total stranger (not even a human  one at that) to tell  you who you are.
I took two  today.  Just a second ago, “We can guess your age and what state you’re from based on your vocabulary on Facebook.”  They said I was 56 and am from Hawaii.  So, they’re more interested in flattery than  accuracy.  Any Tarot reader can tell you that’s a safe bet.  For the other you had to actually answer some questions, and they tried to guess where you  were from based on the words you used  and how you pronounced things.  They told me I’m from the Buffalo-Rochester area which is, like Hawaii, somewhere I’ve never lived and hardly ever been to.

So, their tests are inaccurate but the thing that bothers me is I suspect they COULD BE,  and they’re holding back.  Which brings me to my second AI comment this  evening.

Just finished watching Ex Machina, which I thought was pretty brilliant but couldn’t get anybody else in the family to watch it for even 10 minutes.  Yeah, it was mostly dialogue, but dialogue with a seriously  threatening psychopath is compelling.  Also, I thought  they went into a bit of depth about what AI could be (loved the girl  in  the black and white room  analogy – a Plato’s Cave parable for the information age) and I like that.  Most sci-fi is very condescending, but this was not.
And, it didn’t hurt that the robots were sexy as hell.

O.K., here’s the situation, at least there’s going to be an investigation.

But, there are investigations and there are investigations.  There are investigations that get to the point and find what they are intended to find.  I think most disaster investigations fall into this category.  Most.  I remember that time an Egypt Air jet went into the ocean and it was clearly pilot suicide but the report didn’t say that because they didn’t want to offend Muslims because apparently suicide is a bad thing, but that’s nonsense, because it’s a bad thing in all religions but it still happens.  I think some police investigations might fall  into this category, but nowhere near the percentage that television implies.

Then, there are investigations which try their damnedest to either find nothing, or to find some easily believable conclusion, no  matter how true.  I think the Warren Commission and the 9/11 investigation fall into  this category.

Then, there are the investigations which wander all over the place, digging up dirt like a drunken farmer taking the old tractor out for a joyride.  Those are fun.  You find out all  sorts of interesting stuff about the uses of cigars, porn film titles, and secret code names.

As far as any investigations in Trump, I favor type 3.  Make it as wide ranging as possible.  Don’t limit it to Trump.  Find out everybody who’s had contacts with Russians, and why.  If Trump doesn’t have a tape of him being peed on by Russian hookers, maybe some other Republican does.  Maybe there are some Democrats  in the mix.   That would be cool.  Let’s make this a bi-partisan witch hunt.

And there’s no reason it should be exclusively about Russia.  Find out about those deals he made in Saudi, look into Ivanka’s little agreements with the Chinese, do a full  accounting of how much U.S. taxpayer money was spent on those weekends at Mar -a – Lago, subpoena his damned tax  returns.

And if it spills over into Democratic corruption as well, that would be icing on the cake.  Let the whole damned House of Cards come tumbling down.